Hello again....sounds like you're having a tough time right now. I checked out your other posts and bizarrely I feel like I might be in a position to actually help a bit with this. Do you know what kind of cancer we are talking about here specifically? I actually work in clinical research - I think it might be worthwhile looking into which clinical trials are running in the US (I'm assuming you are from the US?). People have huge misconceptions about taking part in clinical trials but seriously, this is the only way new drugs are brought to market. At the worst case, he might be give something that doesn't help but the placebo effect of hoping for a 'miracle' has been proven to extent people's lives....in the best case, he will most likely be paid and might recieve a treatment that prolongs his life or helps treat the cancer - not to mention the contribution of taking part generally if the drug comes to market successfully and the effect on other peoples lives. Just so you know I DO NOT work in recruitment or sales, I just believe in it and love my job!

Needs to get him off the smoking though...that doesn't do anyone any favours.

On the other note....I'm always worried I am not 'living' too. When you daydream about your life as you would wish it - what is it that is missing now in real life? If you were ever to be famous, what would it be for? What is the very best 'you' in your imagination? I having a gnawing feeling in my guts when i think about writing a book or a few books...I think that's the direction for me. You? what do you want?