I Hate Cancer

Duck duck goose. This time life choose my dad. We recently found out he has a rare type of blood cancer, 2 types actually, untreatable. I live in another state and cannot be there to take care of him and my heart is so broken. I've tried doing so much research on holistic and alternative treatments, not to replace anything his doctor recommends, but as an addition to their treatments. I know he's not eating well and not exercising, as well as took up smoking again from all the stress. Is this what life is? You work a bullshit job that you hate for your entire life, living paycheck to paycheck, just to die before you ever get to retire and relax. I know this is no one fault, this is a part of life.. I just DO NOT want to wake up one day when I'm much older and look back to realize I have done nothing with my life but sit on my computer, too depressed to go outside and have a life.