My father died of it [I Cancer]

@SwampFlower whats the cancer feel like without the chemo??

And whats it like with NO pain control?

@Elevatorpitches probably it is different for everyone. For me I just felt very weak, itchy, and my actual bones [i]ached[/i] plus all the neurological symptoms the paraneoplastic syndrome caused.

It wasn't fun. I'm so grateful to not feel that bad anymore lol

@SwampFlower I am in an state of "epiphany" tonight

self confrontation thing thats hard and not pretty and mellow compared to other times I've gone through this, but these moments of truth can be flattening...so to speak. The shame, the blindnesses, the missed opportunities for love that can't be fixed.

I suck with other people.

@Elevatorpitches I think the few people on this site who have great social skills are outliers. I also suck with people but at least we are in good company 🤗

@SwampFlower No u don't

You seem to have an essentiaL sweetness and whimsey that makes people something like u... excel as kindergarten teachers in poor schools ..the school board trusted u🤗

and I can't tell u enough how I loved what u did for me last night😔