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I Stopped Saying Cancer Free

I had been urinating blood for over a year, At first it was only every so often. I knew that I should of had it checked out with a medical professional, but I was too scared. I noticed that I couldn't walk as far over the year, but I still refused.
I was about to head to work one morning, but I just wasn't feeling well. I call in sick, took a rest, then headed to one of the local Urgent cares when my primary said that I needed to go there. They didn't know what was going on, but the gave me some antibiotics to take. I was finally able to make an appointment to see my primary. My Primary gave me a list of some specialist that he wanted me to see. One of them was in the same building, so I stopped there and made an appointment. I then went home an made appointments with the others.
I went to the first one, who told me that I needed to go directly to the hospital, as I was 2 units short of iron, and 3 units short of blood, and that they would take care of it. I went and the hospital took blood and did other test, then I was being told that I was going to be admitted. When I went to the hospital, I figured that I would only be there for a few hours, so the admitting was a surprise.
Now the last time that I had to spend time in the hospital was when I was born, and now I am in my 60s. Before I knew it, they were sticking a catheter onto me, along with I.Vs. They finally took me up to a room, and I was told that they would be coming to get me between 8pm and 8:30pm for my operation. I figured that I really had a hernia, and that it needed to be taken care of. This was about 2:30pm, so I turned on the TV and got comfortable. About 4pm one of the nurses came into the room and said that someone was going to come and take me down within the next 30 minutes, as an opening occurred. About 20 minutes later I found myself being wheeled down to the pre-op area.
As I laid in pre-op, a couple of medical people were with me explaining the procedures that they were going to be involved with while I was being operated on. I answered any questions that they had and we had a great conversation. Heck, I know others who had hernia operations, so I wasn't worried about anything.
A figure in surgery gear came over and introduced himself to me. He said that he was going to be doing my Bladder Cancer operation in a little bit. My eyes got wide and I said, "Huh?"
He looked at me with a strange look and said, "Bladder Cancer operation." After looking at me again he said, "You didn't know?"
He explained things to me, and said that it appears that I have had it for quite a while.
The next morning, one of the hospital doctors came into my room. He asked me if I was a smoker, and the last time that I smoked. I told him that it was the day before, and that I had no plans on going back to it. He explained that smoking was the number one cause of Bladder Cancer. He them explained that they were only able to get 60% of the cancer out of me because I had a hernia that blocked them from being able to get the rest, and that it was going to take another surgery after the hernia surgery to get the rest of it.
What helped me mostly is that someone that I refer to as my "Church Daughter" would come to visit me on her days off from work. I first met her about 10 years earlier, and we have a good friendship. I watched her go from being a high school freshman to a Registered Nurse over the time. She would explain stuff to me, and if a doctor was in the room, she knew the right questions to ask. As far as they knew, she was my daughter, and I had told them that she is an RN, but works at another hospital.
I was finally released from the hospital, but still with the 40% in my still.
About 6 weeks later I went back for out-patient surgery to get the rest of it out of me. My insurance wouldn't pay for the surgery to happen at the same hospital, but were willing to pay at a hospital that was closer to me, which happened to be the same one that "daughter" works in, and she happened to be off that day.
The surgery itself went fine, but they had trouble getting me to awaken, so I got to spend the night there.

Several months went by, and I would go to see the surgeon, who explained to me that part of my bladder had been replaced by bladder tumors. He also said that it had been a very long time since he last removed that much from someone. He felt that my progress had been going good. I began telling people that I was cancer free, since all of the indications that he gave me pointed in that direction.
I went back to him a third time, and they stuck a camera into me. I was not looking in the direction of the screen when I suddenly hear him say," I was afraid of that. Take a look."
I turned my head and looked at the screen, where he began to show me the tumor activity that was going on.

I had another operation a few weeks later, and ever since I have refused to tell anybody that I am "cancer free". The surgeon explained things to me the next time that I saw him, and wants for me to go to a specialist to try other treatments.

It would be nice to be able to tell people that I am cancer free, but I have no plans to ever tell people that ever again. I am going to beat cancer, but am not willing to say that I am cancer free.
Matt8536-40, M
Prayers for a full recovery 馃檹
Cancer has killed everybody in my family but me. They say if you live long enough that鈥檚 what will kill you. We know how to struggle we know how to win rooting for you
Livingwell61-69, M
I pray that you beat this ugly disease. 馃檹馃徎
Musicman61-69, M
I will definitely pray for you 馃檹馃檹馃檹
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