There's something on my mind that I don't want to admit to myself

I think I might be autistic. It's probably blindingly obvious to everyone else, but I really don't think I could handle knowing I'm as different and 'abnormal' as I feel sometimes. I barely cope with feeling that way as it is.

I told this to a friend, and he said it's almost trendy to be seen as autistic, but I remember how people on the outer were treated before and I'm barely hanging on as it is.