I'm getting pretty nervous

I noticed a tiny nodule bump under my skin (you can't see it though) in my tummy area, last year. It was tiny and like in the muscle wall. My sister had one, a lipoma of sorts, it was benign. I didn't feel it again for months and it didn't have that twinge of pain like at first. Well now, many months later, it is hurting off and on. I am going to call up to get an ultrasound/Xray but I am also pretty nervous :( I am hoping that it is what my sister had, b/c it is so close to the muscle wall, and it feels like a cyst that hurts when you touch it. What if it is not benign though?? I have had such an awful life, filled with abuse and anxiety and suffering, and never had a true love. My life is going through my eyes right now thinking WHat IF? I have so many years left I want to push past my PTSD and fears.... it is just really weighing on me right now.