Please help me (trigger warning: eating disorder and self harm)

I‘m 13 female, i have an eating disorder since I turned 12, I have suicidal thoughts since I was 10 and I have a toxic mother and an absent father, I developed an eating disorder because I thought my mom would finally notice that I’m sick, my mom always tell me that it’s just the hormones and I should get over it, what can I do? I have no one to speak with, also i harm myself, when I want to speak with my mom she puts herself in the victim role and it’s so annoying I hate my life so much. Please help me