I Have An Eating Disorder

My usual is a intake of roughly 200 - 400 calories a day.

I uave Gastroparesis as sure a lot of you do too. And trying to take in more than that makes me feel really bad. And most of the time brings on a lot of pain and vomiting.

The registered dietician I recently became established with wants me to intake no less than 1000 calories a day. Some of the reason that number was chosen is because I need to loose weight. Because specific health issues cause weight gain etc...

My ED just wants to starve me - I want to starve me

The food plate im reffered to is:

1/4 - carbs or grains 2 times a day
1/4 - protien 2 times a day
1 quarter super steamed veggies 2 times
1 quarter canned fruit 2 times

Also 2 to 3 ensure high protiens a day
Along with protien bars (good ones) as snacks throughout the day.

Also maybe to do my solids during the day early. And liquids later in the day.

Idk why im writing this.
I'm stressed. EXTREMELY.
Eating is such a chore for me.
Only sometimes do I find eating nice and thats when I'm specifically using it to hurt me.