I'm curious who else these thoughts might resonate with. I grew up very poor - it wasn't unusual for the electricity to get shut off, or for us to have so little money that we'd go for walks looking for loose change to use at the laundromat.
Some days, the only meal I could count on was the free lunch at school; one of my friend's mom's made sure I had a standing invite to dinner at their house--a gesture that still means so much 30-odd years later I could cry just thinking about it.
I have a complicated relationship with food and with my body (esp. being trans) - I never really learned how to eat properly and gained a TON of weight in my 20s and 30s, until I was 425 pounds and thinking regularly about whether I would die, soon.
Almost six years ago, I came to terms with being trans (something I'd known about myself as long as I could remember, but worked to suppress) and started taking care of my body; six years and lots of diet and exercise later I've lost more than 200 pounds and am still working on it, slow and steady.
I'm still learning how to cook and how to eat though, and there's something exquisite about learning these things now in life; even something as small as making myself some hardboiled eggs (with a little hot bsauce to add some spice); having this different relationship with food and my body, feels like something to treasure.
Anyway, I'm just curious, I suppose, about the other people out here who grew up poor and bought have had (or still have) complex relationships with food--if this sounds familiar or not.
My FATHER grew up during the Great Depression in the Midwest...and there was never enough food. His father used to tell him and his brother to "fill up on bread", because there was never enough meat for everyone. He thought my mother's family was rich, because she lived on a farm and they had milk!
My grandmother had a large green apple tree in the back yard, and she always had a big pot of applesauce on the back of the stove, which she would make from drops.
As a child, I used to watch my father eat...and he would eat like it was a contest to see who could shovel the food in their mouth the fastest...sort of like a starving dog. I used to save the potatoes on my plate till last because I liked them best, (and my mother was a terrible cook...the potatoes were instant, and usually the only thing she didn't ruin), and my father grabbed my plate and put ALL my potatoes on his own plate. My mother yelled at him for doing that, and then I started crying...and he told her I was only crying because SHE said something.
But it was even a little difficult for ME growing up in a house with an absolutely HORRBLE cook...and THEN she went on a diet...and when I was in high school the only food in our fridge was bread and mustard and cheese slices and pickles. I lost a lot of weight.
My parents both grew up during the Great Depression. They both lived on farms and said you could have anything you wanted to eat as long as you could grow it.
what did you put on your eggs? it's not ketchup is it? i gained like up to 180 lbs the other year and am down to 160 sometimes i try to lose more other times i'm like why bother? idk 😳
