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Losing virginity and some sensible advice.

I was 19 when I lost my virginity. I was one of a rowdy group of girls. Me being the most shy. I had a super strict upbringing so every week I lied to my parents and told them I was going on a sleep over. The reality was, I used to go out round the local pubs and clubs or else we'd stay at a friend's house if there were no parents present and then drink until we fell over and/or passed out.

There were always boys over and this particular night, the boy in question was an on/off boyfriend of mine. I had had a lot of vodka and we were fooling around on a mattress on my friends living room floor. After a while I said I just wanted to go to sleep. He said, "why are you being a cock tease, making out you want me and then saying all you want to do is sleep?"

I don't know why but at the time I cared so much about what he thought. I said "I do want you". He kissed me some more and then said. "Can I take your pants off? I won't do anything." Here is where I should have got up, told him he was being a massive bell end and left. Unfortunately 19yr old me was a different me to 45yr old me. I wanted to say no but didn't because he'd already been upset so I passively allowed him to remove my underwear. It was a massive mistake.

The sex was horrible. We were both totally clueless. He just got on top of me and I was obviously not ready. I tensed right up and there was this awful sharp pain and he pushed in anyway. I genuinely believed I'd been injured down there. I told him it hurt and his response was not 'sorry do you want me to stop or go slower' like anyone with an ounce of sensitivity might say but this;

"It's supposed to hurt the first time"

So this is some sensible advice and wisdom from me, to all the young ladies who might be still waiting to experience sex for the first time. This is important. Don't forget.

"IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HURT!!!!!"

Not the first time or any time (unless you want it to but that's something else) Choose someone who cares about you and who wants you to enjoy this. Choose someone who deserves you and if you're not sure, don't be pressured. If they are worthy. They will wait until you are sure. Oh and take control of it yourself. Sit on top of him so you have 100% say in how much, how long and how fast.
Any man who has a problem with that is an idiot and doesn't deserve you.
Make sure he's worthy. 💋💋
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OldBrit · 61-69, M
Sadly I think many first experiences were a bit crappy like that.

I'm fortunate mine wasn't like that, I was with a gf I'd been with a few months. She was older than me, I was 15 she was 17. We were babysitting her younger brother - i.e alone in the house apart from him. We were in the middle of our usual fooling around/mutual masturbation when she laid back on the sofa we were on and said "I'd actually love you to fuck me for the first time if you'd like to".
Baremine · 70-79, C
@OldBrit sounds like my wife and I. 18 and 19. Still together after 55 years.
SW-User
@OldBrit was it first time for her too or just you?
OldBrit · 61-69, M
@SW-User both first time
oldercanuck1 · 70-79, M
the first time is not what you see or read for ,,,, i hurt her still live to regret it ,,,, she never said or did anything to stop me ,,, i did not know what i was doing ,,, it was a train wreck ,,,,
oldercanuck1 · 70-79, M
@SW-User if he is anything of a man he is and thinking he should have done it differently ,,, but 19 a stud , and pressure from friends to do it to be a man ,,
SW-User
@oldercanuck1 I'm sure he's calmed down now. I try to teach my boys to know better than that.
oldercanuck1 · 70-79, M
@SW-User Yes so they do not make the same mistake their first time ,,,
JFinch · 41-45, F
pdqsailor1 · 61-69, M
@JFinch and... details, what is the story behind the event?
Northwest · M
Sed ed is important, and not just the mechanics. It's teaching kids why people have sex: because it feels good, or it should feel good. This was emphasized at my kids' school, and at home... as well as what consent means.
SW-User
@Northwest my parents never mentioned sex at home other than to say don't do it unless you're married. I have an awesome husband. I kind of wish I waited.
Northwest · M
@SW-User
I have an awesome husband

Good for you, and him. Your parents' attitude was and still pretty common. My daughter is well informed about every aspect of sexuality, and most importantly, consent and how to avoid situations that may get someone in trouble.
DrWatson · 70-79, M
My parents always talked on the phone with the parents who were hosting the sleepover, so that both sets of parents had a common understanding of what was going to happen, such as the kids not being unsupervised. My wife and I were the same way with our kid. So you would never have gotten away with lying about sleepovers if you had had those kinds of parents.

And maybe your first time, although it would have been later, would have been more meaningful. And not painful.

I'm sorry you had such a crappy experience with a crappy guy.
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DrWatson · 70-79, M
@SW-User Don't be too hard on yourself. You were young back then!
SW-User
Interesting story… thanks for sharing.
mindless · M
good advice! 👍
romell · 51-55, M
Bobdale · 56-60, M
Sound advice .
Convivial · 26-30, F
You can't put an old head on young shoulders...
SW-User
@Convivial very true. I would have avoided a lot of mistakes though!
Convivial · 26-30, F
@SW-User i think that we like to think that... But i wonder... Life is often about learning lessons, and sometimes experience is the only teacher allowed... Maybe lol... Just my thoughts ...
sorry your 1st time was so bad. Mine was good and we was only 13
SW-User
@nevergiveup you were both still babies!
Doctrble · 51-55, M
PTCdresser57 · 61-69, M
LookingForIt987 · 51-55, M
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you went through that experience. But I am glad to hear that age has brought you wisdom.

Nobody should fuck anybody who won't treat them with decency and respect. It's just a shame we have to grow old to gain that sort of wisdom...
caesar7 · 61-69, M
Patience is everything. Taking your time worked for me.....and for her!
SW-User
@caesar7 I definitely agree

 
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