Same, I was 19 and he was 37. I'm now 37. I feel sad for myself back then, as the way I see it now, that relationship was so much to me, in the cost of my mental health. I'm sure some gap relationships can be healthy. I'm sure a whole lot of them aren't.
It seems sick to me now to be dating a 19 year old boy. It's inevitable he's going to have to get into terms of bending around me, as, yes I've got softness but, whole lot of structure set in place. Power. I feel like I've lost so much of my Personal Power in that relationship. I've stayed with him for 5 years.
Of course we can argue about what serves us and what we need and that life brings us all we need in order to become who we are today, but I think, if I'd go back to the moment he was crying in front of me like a child and I was taking the decision and the responsibility to love him, and take him to his death 7 years later, I think I would pass. I know that escalated pretty quickly and I'm terribly sorry for this. .. I'm having a harsh full moon warewolf phase. ...
@being hes honeslty still a very dear friend to me but i wish i had never dated him
i know that the smallest fraction of age gap relationships are healthy and loving. but for the most part, i think the older person is taking advantage of the younger. especially if theyre dating exclusively people who are youbger. and the ones who date people under 21? if they could legally date a 16 year old they would
@Rebirth when young men are in toxic relationships or taken advantage of people dont always see it as big a deal compared to if a young woman is
im doubtful, he was engaged to a woman my age before he met me but she passed away. his reasoning for not sharing that information was because he was stalked by a past partner and has ptsd from the experience. i dont doubt he has ptsd based on how obsessive he was about other people/cars when we'd go out together. but, like, why would you ask that info of me if you knew you wouldnt share the same 🙄
@psimitar i think its weird men in their 40s want to date teenagers. why would you want to be in a relationship with someone whose brain had not even fully developed? that's not right
