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Carissimi Thank you my friend. I think it will be the Only way to get myself out there, is to accept myself FULLY. EVEN with acute PtSD, in which I"m sure some guys will have an issue with. Or think to themselves, they could do better, with someone 'normal'. But I guess that is ok; b/c others have said that will just leave room for the person who WILL be kind, or compassionate. Who WOULD be meant for me. I truly need to stop seeing myself as a low, small, worthless being. I guessif 'I' accept my PTSD and all my shortcomings, then whoever does NOT accept me, it is on them, and just doesn't fit.
I'm so sorry you have also experienced PTSD. It really is just an awful disorder to deal with. And YES, so many little things can trigger it, and then just add MORE trauma or shame to the fire. Then it becomes overwhelming, and that is when I cut myself off socially. And I have for years now. From guys, from friends... it just feels so horrible to think you don't deserve good things b/c of an mental health issue, but it can be a TRUE meanie like that. But it is not US, not our spirit, not our essence. That is the one thing I know deep down, it's just tough to remember it daily. I get very panicked on the phone myself. Not always, but sometimes, and it can make me feel physical symptoms. bigggg hugggs my friend for sharing with me, and know you are not alone. You are a warrior for getting through all these times. 🌸