What helps you not put too much pressure on dating?

I simply don't date, b/c I feel SO much PRESSURE. I feel I am not enough (I am working on it a lot). When you have PtSD plus an anxiety disorder that is a good part of your life, you don't exactly feel like men are going to jump to be with you. :( But, it also sucks NEVER, ever dating b/c of it. How can I just look at dating as not so serious and keep overthinking how a guy may leave me? I just want to feel relaxed and look at it as just a fun night, but it is so hard to do b/c I don't know if a guy wants something serious. I need to go slow, and I know many don't. HELP

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

The overthinking is at the core of your issue, probably fueled by the anxiety. I'd suggest just going out with male friends at first to get used to the process, no pressure there at all. Then, if you meet someone you'd like to date, you'll have the experience.

Hate to break this to you, but guys have anxiety too. I am one of them. I've been on meds and gone to therapy for it, because there was no way I was going to let it get in my way. I'm glad I did the work.

The thing you should focus on after that is what happens [i]after[/i] you meet someone, because that is when the real work begins and that is reality.

Coralmist · 41-45, F

@uncalled4 I don't have any current male friends to go out with. I used to have two close male friends, but we lost touch in the last few years. :( Unless you meant look for a meetup type thing where I become friends first with someone?
I'm sorry you also have had anxiety. that is so wonderful you did the work.

I have worked on this many years.. but the abuse at my core was so severe, it is VERY very hard to turn it around. But I am not going to give up EVEN though I have been working at this a while now. Because there has to be a time I can actually ever accept myself, flaws and all. But I feel like a giant flaw itself ughhh. I will not give up.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Coralmist Yeah, do a meetup. I'm not a professional, but that's something like exposure therapy.