Racism and homophobia
It's got me thinking about stuff like dermatology, where most products are commercialized with the idea the lighter your skin is the better. Hair product that says "Makes your hair healthier" but then as a black person you use it and it gives your hair a weird consistency because it tries to make your hair smoother because smother hair usually looks healthier on White people.
Up till this point I still haven't had a phone with a camera that knows how to capture black skin, as soon as I open my camera to take a self in the bathroom it automatically saturates the image because the phone detects the image is too dark, but no it's just me having a darker skin tone.
It's these little subliminal messages that makes you feel not included, and for a kid, I'd imagine it must hurt a lot.
As a black person you have to do a lot of research on how to take care of your hair, and understand beauty doesn't depend on skin tone.
And I know people are gonna say "Oh you are exaggerating, it's not that bad" because it's been said to me many times when I complain about these stuff, when I was younger, I was added to a group chat for young gays under 18. A day or so after being included, someone said "Oh I would never date a black guy" and message after message came saying the same thing. I think they had no idea I was black.
I personally think this is why there are barely any mix raced couples, at least here in Spain, cause, tho no one would fully admit it, there is this internalized racism, disguised as "Preference".
Another example of this would be, many years ago, I was with a friend, who at the time was my closest friend, some of his friends were also there. He all of a sudden said to "Junior, I don't mean this in the wrong way, but I would never eat a black girl's pussy" his friends then called him out for it, saying that's not ok.
And this doesn't only happens in race, but also sexuality. There are these homophobic comments that have been inserted in modern society and blended with it so well we don't even recognize them as such. But, again, as a young, naive person, still figuring out who you are, you don't need to be bullied to feel inferior, all this already does that for you.
That's why I think it's so important to educate the younger generations about what it means to be LGBT and help them learn there is nothing wrong with it. But of course you'll always have that one person that goes "Oh, they are kids, they are too young to learn what it means to be LGBT", to me it's always funny when someone says that because from their point of view kids are too young to learn what being gay or a lesbian means but not what being straight means. That's because for those being "straight" is the norm and LGBT is more like a kink, so therefore no need to include kids there. It's ok and normal for kids to see mommy and daddy hold hands and share a kiss but as soon as it's 2 men or 2 women holding hands or sharing a kiss, it's automatic because wrong for them.
Again, I think this type of very very shuttle message of "The lighter the better, LGBT is not the norm" is what really taints how we treat and see each other.
I remember this one time, coming back from work. At the time I worked at a pizza shop and would end really really late at night. This one night, on my way home I noticed a women and a girl who I assumed was her daughter looking back at my direction a lot. I was confused, I thought "Is there something behind me, or around me I can't see"
Then I noticed the woman kinda clutched her purse and I was like "Ahh I see". So I hurried up, gave them enough space for them to feel safe when I walked past them, and left enough space between us for them to know I am no threat.
Experiences like these are weird because people always say "You've been in Spain so long, you are more Spanish than Nigerian now" and tho it is true I have been in Spain way longer than my birth country, I still sometimes feel out of place fue to experiences like this. And my fear is that, I don't think Nigeria feels like home, not anymore, not after so many years here.
The best way I can explain it, and tho it's a bit extreme. It's almost like being abducted by humanoid aliens, who take you away to their planet where you start a new life, different culture, landscape landscapes, different animals, different languages, different food, different rules and costumes, which you get used to as time goes on. So much time that you've been on this strange planet longer than you were on earth. Then years later, somehow, you get back "home", earth. Then you notice, it doesn't feel like home, it doesn't feel welcoming, you don't feel included or understood, cause the way you now do and see things have changed. People other humans think you are weird, cause you do things differently than they do. But you also can't go back to the planet you been at for so many years cause there you are "The weird human" and on earth you are "The weird alien man".
That's what it feels like.
Up till this point I still haven't had a phone with a camera that knows how to capture black skin, as soon as I open my camera to take a self in the bathroom it automatically saturates the image because the phone detects the image is too dark, but no it's just me having a darker skin tone.
It's these little subliminal messages that makes you feel not included, and for a kid, I'd imagine it must hurt a lot.
As a black person you have to do a lot of research on how to take care of your hair, and understand beauty doesn't depend on skin tone.
And I know people are gonna say "Oh you are exaggerating, it's not that bad" because it's been said to me many times when I complain about these stuff, when I was younger, I was added to a group chat for young gays under 18. A day or so after being included, someone said "Oh I would never date a black guy" and message after message came saying the same thing. I think they had no idea I was black.
I personally think this is why there are barely any mix raced couples, at least here in Spain, cause, tho no one would fully admit it, there is this internalized racism, disguised as "Preference".
Another example of this would be, many years ago, I was with a friend, who at the time was my closest friend, some of his friends were also there. He all of a sudden said to "Junior, I don't mean this in the wrong way, but I would never eat a black girl's pussy" his friends then called him out for it, saying that's not ok.
And this doesn't only happens in race, but also sexuality. There are these homophobic comments that have been inserted in modern society and blended with it so well we don't even recognize them as such. But, again, as a young, naive person, still figuring out who you are, you don't need to be bullied to feel inferior, all this already does that for you.
That's why I think it's so important to educate the younger generations about what it means to be LGBT and help them learn there is nothing wrong with it. But of course you'll always have that one person that goes "Oh, they are kids, they are too young to learn what it means to be LGBT", to me it's always funny when someone says that because from their point of view kids are too young to learn what being gay or a lesbian means but not what being straight means. That's because for those being "straight" is the norm and LGBT is more like a kink, so therefore no need to include kids there. It's ok and normal for kids to see mommy and daddy hold hands and share a kiss but as soon as it's 2 men or 2 women holding hands or sharing a kiss, it's automatic because wrong for them.
Again, I think this type of very very shuttle message of "The lighter the better, LGBT is not the norm" is what really taints how we treat and see each other.
I remember this one time, coming back from work. At the time I worked at a pizza shop and would end really really late at night. This one night, on my way home I noticed a women and a girl who I assumed was her daughter looking back at my direction a lot. I was confused, I thought "Is there something behind me, or around me I can't see"
Then I noticed the woman kinda clutched her purse and I was like "Ahh I see". So I hurried up, gave them enough space for them to feel safe when I walked past them, and left enough space between us for them to know I am no threat.
Experiences like these are weird because people always say "You've been in Spain so long, you are more Spanish than Nigerian now" and tho it is true I have been in Spain way longer than my birth country, I still sometimes feel out of place fue to experiences like this. And my fear is that, I don't think Nigeria feels like home, not anymore, not after so many years here.
The best way I can explain it, and tho it's a bit extreme. It's almost like being abducted by humanoid aliens, who take you away to their planet where you start a new life, different culture, landscape landscapes, different animals, different languages, different food, different rules and costumes, which you get used to as time goes on. So much time that you've been on this strange planet longer than you were on earth. Then years later, somehow, you get back "home", earth. Then you notice, it doesn't feel like home, it doesn't feel welcoming, you don't feel included or understood, cause the way you now do and see things have changed. People other humans think you are weird, cause you do things differently than they do. But you also can't go back to the planet you been at for so many years cause there you are "The weird human" and on earth you are "The weird alien man".
That's what it feels like.
