Magical foods that never disappoint: popcorn, Coca-Cola, peanut butter and crackers, grilled...

Looks like we had an interesting morning, got into an argument… got into an argument with my Rice Krispies. I distinctly heard “Snap, crackle, fuck her.” I don’t know which one of them said it, I was reaching for the sugar and was not looking directly into the bowl.

But I told them, I said, well, you can all just sit right there in the milk, far as I’m concerned you can sit in the milk until I find out which one of you said that. A little mass punishment for my breakfast food.

My idea was to turn them against one another. Just sit in the milk, far as I’m concerned. Silly me, big punishment, that’s what they do anyway, Sit in the milk. That’s their job. That’s Rice Krispies’ job, sitting in the milk. You’ve seen them, haven’t you?

Floating along, little beige blisters of air, riding proudly in the milk. But you can’t sink them, they float for a long time. And you know why, they stay together. They gather together in little groups, little groups of eight, ten, twelve, sometimes fourteen, but always an even number if you’ve noticed.

It’s the polarity of the Krispies that attracts them. They form little colonies of Rice Krispies. But you can’t sink them, you try to sink them with a spoon, they come up over the sides. You can’t sink them, that’s what the fruit is for, sinking the Rice Krispies. Good size peach will take down 80 or 90 of them.

If I’m really pissed, I’ll drop a watermelon on their ass. 🤣🤣🤣🤣