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Evangelical Christian upbringing reflections

I can remember my first day at school. That was nearly 60 years ago now. I remember lots of kids, a kind lady (Miss Fitzpatrick I think). I remember those metal trough things with sand and water in and wearing a big smock thing that was old. I remember most kids had new smart ones.

However I don't ever remember going to Sunday school for the first time. I remember an old lady handing out sweets as we left the old church hall behind the main building. I remember that getting rebuilt. I remember Viv (who's still a close friend) sat with me in our group, Graham who sadly died last year and Richard our "teacher" who had a hunchback. He died in a motorbike accident when I was about 8 and the first time I really had to deal with loss and grief.

We attended an Evangelical Free church. My grandma had had something to do with it's creation in the 1930s when she was a "fever nurse" at the old isolation hospital whose grounds are now wildwoods that's pretty much impossible to get into.

Grandma was revered at church. She and mum always wore hats for Sunday morning service. We were trooped on to sit on the floor at the front after Sunday school. Grandma would always have a conversation with the pastor critiquing his sermon.

It was fundamentalist stuff. Complete belief in the word of God. In creation, the virgin birth, Christ's resurrection and ascension etc. The devil is always tempting you etc. So in my early teens it rubbed against school learning. Evolution was the devil's work. Trying to discuss sedimentary rock formations on a church walk on the coast meant three weeks going to the Manse for extra bible study.

At 15 I rebelled and stopped going just after my elder brother had. My sister was a full born again believer by then.

My grandma died when I was 18. I remember going with mum to church not long after. She didn't wear a hat. Within a year she moved to an Anglican church. She became church warden there. I tried again in my early 20s going to that church. But hypocrisy was rife and I soon abandoned it.

I've a very good friend who's church warden at the same parish mum was. Viv still attends the old evangelical church and my sister is heavily involved in a very charismatic church my brother in law is an elder at.

All attempt to get me to redeem my soul by going back to church but I just don't believe in any of it enough. My sister generally avoids conversations with me about it.

My Christian upbringing clearly shaped me, I believe in charity, thinking of others, being inclusive etc. One person in particular Rev Steve Chalke (UK readers may know him) he was a powerful preacher when I was in my teens and his inclusive action orientated ministry contrasted greatly against those that in my opinion did nothing. He's still a man who's opinions I value.

Just musing on what shapes us. What shaped you and your views?
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JustNik · 51-55, F
My experience of church was patchwork. Dad was from a devoutly catholic family and attended catholic school. I’ve been to several funerals now in that same church. Uncle Bill left his estate to it, and the priest hovered about the farm like a vulture to make sure his family didn’t take anything worth too much. Dad was - I think they call it ex-communicated- for divorcing his first wife, and his family never warmed to my mother and my half-sister was never allowed to call his mother grandma. Didn’t seem like behavior God would approve of to me. My mother was baptized Methodist I guess, but I never went to that church either. They had me and that half sister walk down to an Assembly of God church a couple blocks from our house a few times but I always came back upset because they would separate us apparently so they stopped making us go. I remember the outside of that church, but I have no memory of going in. I went to the Baptist church with Grandma Elsie a few times and that experience was colored by her personality. She was an open and authentic soul to whom people responded positively. I saw some good Christianity there. They had a lot of stairs and no wheelchair ramps though, so when her knees went, she watched church on TV instead. My mom once said to me that I must believe in God. Nothing more, so I did, but in my own way. Over the years I’ve gone on occasion with this person or that, attended weddings and funerals. The last wedding I went to I listened to that man stand up there and tell the bride it was her duty to obey her husband and give him children and the service included a prayer for Republican politicians who were going to save us. I bout puked. I’d seldom seen anything but judgement and exclusion in action, but that took the cake. I’m sure there are good churches that do good things and inspire and help people, but I don’t think they’re in the majority. I still talk to God like I always have, pray for people. I accept the possibility that nothing’s there to listen and take my comfort anyway. I like having something to thank for moments of peace and beauty. But I don’t think any manmade book is anything more than the most effective tool to control the masses and keep them at each other’s throats. 🤷‍♀
OldBrit · 61-69, M
@JustNik my nana was Elsie. Loveliest lady ever. She never went to church but she'd been a communist in the 1920s so presumably that was some of that.
JustNik · 51-55, F
@OldBrit I think I’d have liked your Elsie, too. I was thinking the other sounded a little scary. lol Was her name Frances? My Catholic one was scary, and her name was Frances. 😂
OldBrit · 61-69, M
@JustNik no she was Ethel she was a very dominant character
Adstar · 56-60, M
I regards to religion i was ""shaped"" when a friend at work gave me a Bible to read.. A Bible that i read.. A Gospel that i believed.. One good thing about getting ones ""religion"" directly from the Book is one is not ""shaped"" by other people.. church people.. Humans are faulty and thus sooner or later they will let you down.. I know the boundary between religious humans and God and i never cross over and become a follower of men ( Or woman, which seems to be the case in your experience?? )

Building ones faith foundation on the Rock is far better and more dependable then building it upon people..

So my life experience in regard to faith is very different to yours.. There are probably another 100 different ways that people can experience a journey of Faith in their lives..
OverTheHill · 61-69, M
I grew up Roman Catholic. My parents stopped going when I was 10 years old, so I did as well. In my early 20's I went on search for truth. It led me to the person of Jesus, and coming to believe in Him as Lord and Savior. I started attending Evangelical Churches, and have attended them ever since, including an Evangelical Free Church of America.
hippyjoe1955 · 70-79, M
I grew up attending a very liberal church in Canada. Like you my mother and sisters wore hats to church while I had to be bareheaded. The church eventually went to socialist for me so I simply stopped going. Then one day I was walking across an open pasture with native grasses and small rocks when I felt the need to kneel. I did just that beside a little white rock with pale green lichens on it. There I met the Lord. My wife and I then started attending a church that was an off shoot of the Mennonite church. I have since been in many different kinds of churches 5 different kinds of Baptists, E Free, Orthodox, Charismatic etc. I find that at its base the Mennonite most reflects my view although many additions have been made to the Mennonite faith that lead people astray. The thing I found is that faith is to be found in Jesus not in the church.
KatyO83 · 41-45, F
Irish Catholic. Granny always went and the few times I was with her as a kid she took me. Explained confessional etc.

Because I had catholic on my forms in the children's homes they used to gets priest in. Obviously early teenage years it was saying things to try to embarrass him. Then the younger one came and I stopped seeing him. He raped my friend.

So my views on religion, priests, all that are tainted by those interactions. Other than funerals I've not wanted to be in a church all my adult life
Maturebate · 70-79, M
@KatyO83 who would blame you.
@KatyO83 everything, whether religious or political, has bad apples. Please don't let the actions of some bad apples tarnish everything. The bad apples need to be rooted out and punished, they do more harm than good.
AngelaR80 · 41-45, F
I didn't know you were Evangelical Free too.

We should talk more on this.
OldBrit · 61-69, M
@AngelaR80 it's a very long time ago now 😂
4meAndyou · F
I was brought up in a strict Catholic home, and I greatly admired the sweet little nuns who came and taught us our Sunday School lessons. When Vatican II arrived, I went into a severe teenage disillusionment. I had already noticed the hypocrisy. I left the church when I was 16 and joined the Unitarian Universalist Liberal Religious Youth.
I grew up in an evangelical church as well. Instinctively resenting what was popular and wrong just drove me to the church, not away

 
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