A confession about myself... and Ash Wednesday post.

If you had me on a lie detector machine and asked "Are you straight?" And I replied "Yes" the machine would signal a lie. Wonder why my orientation isn't on my profile?

Same sex attraction has been a constant struggle since I became honest with myself years ago, a switch moment that made me realise I'm also attracted to men and the pulse hasn't stopped.

Yep. After reading my Reformation Study Bible, reading Spurgeon, Daily Readings The Puritans and praying for my cherished persecuted family with the Open Doors Prayer Diary and then eating my porridge while subconsciously nodding along to 'Real Talk With Jordan Riley' on YouTube my mind went straight to inappropriate thoughts about men.

Yes. I followed the usual advice- prayed, glorified God more, as for church and fellowship- you know I cherish them. But I would not delete those images, I pretended to half repent and just leave them in the Android recycle bin, inevitably recycling them for later.

Today I experienced further repentance... and these inappropriate thoughts.... they're dying.

How? God used Richard Sibbes. Richard Sibbes warmly and pastorally explains sin in a way you will NEVER hear anyone else explain it. Why? His ministry was dedicated to people like me- backsliders, etc. His book 'the bruised reed' is a must read for sin.

Will I fall? Sure. Will it reign over my life like it has done the past several years? By God's grace I will be on guard. Today all those images were deleted.

Allow me to share today's reading of 'Refreshment for the Soul: A Year of Daily Readings from the 'Heavenly Doctor' Richard Sibbes' that set something off: