Stuck in the ugh

There’s a problem with people having faith in me. I have always wondered at it. Where do they get this idea that I’m all that smart? Or capable? Or clever? I signed up for something just to get more information (as I was assured I could), and now I’m getting swept along and being told I rock and I’ll be such a great asset and I feel completely inadequate. Will I be able to do this? Yes. Do I find it interesting? Yes. But I’m not the expert on the program some of the others are, and frankly, when it comes to technical and complex, I’m slow and painstaking. I’m all over the critical thinking of the end result, but the getting there, especially with the multiple changes in direction anticipated in the course of making it up as we go… I will be molasses. I’m trying to take comfort in the idea that maybe their standards are just pretty low, but I’m having difficulty drumming up enthusiasm for feeling like a moron for the next two years. 😞

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JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M

I am methodical and slow, too, at work.

Yet I have found in the long run, the quality of my work trumps the time it takes. Also, I usually know what I am doing, which defeats all challengers since they often do not. So they have no choice but to accept the time it takes. If they want it done more quickly, they are free to find another to do it who knows what the heck they are doing. Good luck with that!

Occasionally some younger, brighter, faster mind comes along, and challenges my pace and skill. But I usually look at it as a plus. Once they get up to speed, then we have two people who know what to do, not one. I do not view it as competition, so much as spreading the risk. Also, bright young things often move on to better pastures, leaving me behind to continue as usual. And if they stay and make it a career, then often it becomes a good, collaborative friendship. And if they have ambition and end up supervising me, that is fine, too. I do not want the job, anyway!

And now I have been at my job so long, and know so much, and am so plugged in, I am the go-to person on so many things, the expert! They cannot afford to let me go. In fact, they just gave me a raise and a big bonus!

Good luck on your endeavors!

JustNik · 51-55, F

@JoyfulSilence congratulations!! 😄 And thank you! 🙂

hartfire

Sounds like you're thorough and the type to develop competence in whatever you do.

How much would your workmates be able to help bring you up to speed?

While at work, what might help? A brief glimpse out the window to look at the horizon once every 20 mins? A walk around the office for five minutes once an hour? Earphones with baroque music to aid concentration? A 10 min exercise regime at lunch time. A pot-plant on your desk breathing out fresh oxygen?

Would it help to take online classes in the specific skills?
Could that be fitted into your private life if you have family?

What can you do to relax when not at work?
What refreshes you?

JustNik · 51-55, F

@hartfire Thank you, for reminding me of the tools in my toolbox. 😄 Several of those I do on the regular. The classes had glitches, but they’re trying to fix them. I have my refreshers, but I do seriously need to prioritize them until we have more solid footing on the path forward. I need to work on my patience. 😂👍

Lyfis2live

You very well know that in challenges lies The Opportunities.

JustNik · 51-55, F

@Lyfis2live which is why I haven’t insisted on backing out. It would create a snag, but I could do it, and I’ve struggled with that as well. What if it might even be better for the project as a whole if I did?? What if someone else could do better? Me having faith in their choice of me is as hard as the idea that they had that faith in the first place. But I know I’ll gain much from this and I will eventually excel. Just gotta slog through the muck first and I feel tired and weak. Aka - just whining. lol