Stuck in the ugh
There’s a problem with people having faith in me. I have always wondered at it. Where do they get this idea that I’m all that smart? Or capable? Or clever? I signed up for something just to get more information (as I was assured I could), and now I’m getting swept along and being told I rock and I’ll be such a great asset and I feel completely inadequate. Will I be able to do this? Yes. Do I find it interesting? Yes. But I’m not the expert on the program some of the others are, and frankly, when it comes to technical and complex, I’m slow and painstaking. I’m all over the critical thinking of the end result, but the getting there, especially with the multiple changes in direction anticipated in the course of making it up as we go… I will be molasses. I’m trying to take comfort in the idea that maybe their standards are just pretty low, but I’m having difficulty drumming up enthusiasm for feeling like a moron for the next two years. 😞
