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The mile why club

Seat 12 B...Where confidence met biology.

Middle seat. Seat belt light came on somewhere over Texas and my stomach changed the flight plan.

All started with that bad idea wrapped in a tortilla called an Airport Burrito.

Wolfed like a Viking at Gate 17C.

Seemingly in absence of memory; teteportation landed me wedged between a snoring business man and a gradma working a crossword with a pen.

Intestinal cabin pressure built and I told myself " the lie"....just butterflies is all.

The snoring mans shoulder blocked escape as granny pursed her lips an wrote 9 letter words like a federal judge....

Tur...bulance hit and so did my Delta foxhole prayer.

The quiet option chose itself as light seaped from darkness and ground zero was set in stain resistant upholstery. ...

And like any fool that ever trusted physics, luck and a an institutional burrito... I began to pray.

Quite mode failed on approach, flaps were down...an the only involvement of "just air"...was the shear power of delivery.

I'm goin' with two words here, take them as you may:

Ass and heat.

The snoring stopped, grams pen halted mid vowel...and utter silence was spoken as if the plane itself was about to explain what just took place.

A lifetime unfolded...each sidways stolen glance revealed a businessman questioning his chosen career and a woman staring at the wing with religious intensity.

Deplane eye contact was avoided.

Nameless...but years later still....god knows whos forgiveness I'm seeking head bowed.

😑.....🫳🏻....✈
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HumanEarth · F
Verily, my lady of Punxi, the portal on yon metallic contraption doth resist my efforts to open. I find myself in dire need of egress, for I have unleashed a most foul wind, and must needs allow the gentle zephyrs of freshness to enter, banishing the vile stench from mine behind.
Punxi · F
HumanEarth · F
I take it, my lady of Punxi, thou dost delight in the scent of mine flatulence, emitted from this iron flying beast.

(Man this is hard talking this way, I don't know how they did it everyday) 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Punxi · F
@HumanEarth ikr....but hell, my DNA channels European peasentry!

Ay..ar' we ah' runnin' from them English ag'ain lass! Dinnae ye worry! Keep ye' plump as a partridge I will!

🤣