One night in the Army my team was out looking for the enemy in an area we heard shots fired. In Panama.
THIS GET'S HUMOROUS! This was in Panama.
There was twelve of us searching a wooded area outside the city by a river. After about an hour we found three young boys carrying a shotgun that was all taped up holding the barrel onto the stock with silver duct tape. They had shot three river rats and told the interpreter they were hungry and going to eat them, the shotgun was unloaded, and the boys had been headed back home from hunting the riverbank. I was not concerned about the shotgun or their ages of like 8, 9, and 10 years old. Heck they were sent out to get meat for the evening meal. Have you ever been in a foreign country (Outside of the United States that is) and starving? They were so happy they only used three of their four shotgun shells to get these rats too. The guys were all keyed up over them having a shotgun and I was not. I asked to see their shotgun and the interpreter told them and they handed it to me. The barrel literally fell off in my hands. I told the interpreter I was going to take the shot gun and get it fixed for them; to have their father/mother come to the base to see me and I would give it back to them repaired. Gave the boys my name on a piece of paper with my name and rank on it and unit and let them go home with a couple MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) so dad would not beat them. My guys who grew up in average homes did not understand but a couple country boys got it, hungry and starving is not an enemy, but the starving is.
I had the armorer repair the shotgun and I returned it to the father once he was vetted with a box of shells for the shotgun for the boys.
THE FUNNY PORTION.
Now on the way back to base being out close to two hours by now I called the troop to a halt to stop to take a leak, it was a pitch-black darkness. I took two steps and turned my back to pee, and I heard one of those uptight middle classes raised city boys that bitched about not taking those kids into custody say, "What Pee Here"! I became unglued and retorted yeah and if you stumble into your buddy and his shit is bigger than yours, and very probably so, then admire it, maybe offer to hold it for him, but only shake it once or twice or it constitutes sexual assault, OKAY"! The dumb ass turned on his flashlight and stumbled around trying to find a place to pee well away from our team. I was well done and so was everyone else by the time Gary found a private place to pee, I snuck up behind him as the team watched and stood right behind him as he unbuttons his BDU's to pee. I hear the pee hit the ground and peered over Gary's shoulder shining my flashlight down at his junk and stating a loud, "Wholly Shit, Gary, are you going to pee out of that thing or sew buttons with it, here buddy it is better if you just squat"! It totally ruined any sound discipline as well as light discipline as the laughter roared out of everyone. The radio man told me that base was calling to check on us because they heard the laughter and saw the light. I said tell them we are coming in and we are fine. But Gary was pissed for some reason.
The end.
There was twelve of us searching a wooded area outside the city by a river. After about an hour we found three young boys carrying a shotgun that was all taped up holding the barrel onto the stock with silver duct tape. They had shot three river rats and told the interpreter they were hungry and going to eat them, the shotgun was unloaded, and the boys had been headed back home from hunting the riverbank. I was not concerned about the shotgun or their ages of like 8, 9, and 10 years old. Heck they were sent out to get meat for the evening meal. Have you ever been in a foreign country (Outside of the United States that is) and starving? They were so happy they only used three of their four shotgun shells to get these rats too. The guys were all keyed up over them having a shotgun and I was not. I asked to see their shotgun and the interpreter told them and they handed it to me. The barrel literally fell off in my hands. I told the interpreter I was going to take the shot gun and get it fixed for them; to have their father/mother come to the base to see me and I would give it back to them repaired. Gave the boys my name on a piece of paper with my name and rank on it and unit and let them go home with a couple MRE's (Meals Ready to Eat) so dad would not beat them. My guys who grew up in average homes did not understand but a couple country boys got it, hungry and starving is not an enemy, but the starving is.
I had the armorer repair the shotgun and I returned it to the father once he was vetted with a box of shells for the shotgun for the boys.
THE FUNNY PORTION.
Now on the way back to base being out close to two hours by now I called the troop to a halt to stop to take a leak, it was a pitch-black darkness. I took two steps and turned my back to pee, and I heard one of those uptight middle classes raised city boys that bitched about not taking those kids into custody say, "What Pee Here"! I became unglued and retorted yeah and if you stumble into your buddy and his shit is bigger than yours, and very probably so, then admire it, maybe offer to hold it for him, but only shake it once or twice or it constitutes sexual assault, OKAY"! The dumb ass turned on his flashlight and stumbled around trying to find a place to pee well away from our team. I was well done and so was everyone else by the time Gary found a private place to pee, I snuck up behind him as the team watched and stood right behind him as he unbuttons his BDU's to pee. I hear the pee hit the ground and peered over Gary's shoulder shining my flashlight down at his junk and stating a loud, "Wholly Shit, Gary, are you going to pee out of that thing or sew buttons with it, here buddy it is better if you just squat"! It totally ruined any sound discipline as well as light discipline as the laughter roared out of everyone. The radio man told me that base was calling to check on us because they heard the laughter and saw the light. I said tell them we are coming in and we are fine. But Gary was pissed for some reason.
The end.
