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Can anybody be help decipher what this could mean?

Ok, first, I know that dreams and visions are personal and are best interpreted by those who had them, but this is just throwing me for a loop.

I dreamed my late father visited me last night. The setting started off in his house, but then kept morphing in to various places we lived in my childhood. The conversation started with our usual bad taste humor jokes… I asked him how it was being dead, and he replied it wasn’t much, but it was a living.
At some point the conversation turned, and I asked if he knew when I was a child that I suffered cognitive impairment, and if so why they never had me tested. He looked very embarrassed and finally answered that they were young and totally unprepared to have a kid, and as such I was “disposable”…that early on they just didn’t care that much about me and it was easier just to shuffle me around (I spend a few of my childhood years living with my grandparents, moving between their houses).
He then said goodbye, and it felt like the last time I was going to see him. I woke up crying and screaming, half from what he’d said and half from him leaving me again.
I then woke up again, and realized that that was just another part of the dream. But in the dark I could see a cherub sitting in the bed beside me, alabaster like statue, and it scared the hell out of me. I wouldn’t/couldn’t turn away for fear it would come at me like a weeping angel. Without looking away, I ordered Alexa to turn the light on…no response. I did so again, and the light came on, but the cherub had vanished.

Now, the dream could just be a dream playing on my inferiority complex, and the cherub could just have been a trick of shadows in the very dim light at 2am. On the other hand it all felt very real.

I feel like I’m loosing my mind 🤪
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That's my thought. Since you can't currently ask your father the question you asked in your dream, your subconscious was speculating as to the reason. And since you have, as you say, an inferiority complex, you projected your own low self-esteem onto the man who, as you say, never had you tested.

Chances are, the truth was that he was afraid of what he would find out. People are irrational like that. But since your dream was about your own shortcomings, or perceived shortcomings, your mind made it all about how you were "disposable" to them, when it's quite likely that the opposite is true.
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@LordShadowfire That makes logical sense, and is in all probability correct. It was just so real feeling, it just makes me really think about m. Especially as I don’t typically remember my dreams, and I’ve never hallucinated things in the dark 🤷‍♂️
@Zaphod42 Yeah, that's a really weird feeling. I can't imagine. I've had auditory hallucinations of people calling my name in the middle of the night, but I've never seen a weeping fucking angel in my room.
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@LordShadowfire To be fair, other than not expecting to see it, I’m not sure why I was scared. It would have been maybe a foot tall if standing, but it was sat squat on its heels. One arm was across its chest and the other had the elbow propped on the knee with its fist under its chin like a baby Thinker statue. It was looking straight ahead at the empty pillow next to me, and when I called for Alexa the first time it slowly turned its head, rolling its cheek onto the fist to look at me with quiet amusement.

Very strange 🤷‍♂️
@Zaphod42 I wonder if maybe it was really there?
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@LordShadowfire i’m not religious, and I prefer to think more rational terms. On the other hand, with the light on, I could not work out what could possibly have given it form in the darkness let alone movement. 🤷‍♂️

My Filipina girlfriend is convinced that really was my father visiting me in my dream and that it really was a cherub there looking after me in the moment 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️
@Zaphod42 I mean, you know I'm no Christian, but I've encountered things that I can't explain otherwise. Maybe it was a little dream spirit going around giving weird dreams. Or maybe you hallucinated it.