Feeling sad [I Believe In the Paranormal]

I used to have this strong connection with God. I could "reach out" to him and feel his love and warmth. When the abuse happened, I stopped being able to feel him. And then that demon started attacking me and forced me into a bond with it and now whenever I try to reach out
to God all I feel is the demon "blocking" me. It is very frustrating. It happened to me today and it made me feel very sad.

I realize all of this sounds crazy. I don't need any online "doctors" diagnosing me. I'm just venting.