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We (and by that I mean I) had to have a stern word with Alan

I was sent this evidence on Thursday..

And what it became was this..

Alan had found the stash 🤨 and thought oh this is obviously a self service place.

So I had to have a talk with him on Friday morning about boundaries. As I lectured him he looked on, engaged, yet confused, and thinking, “where’s my walnuts bish”. I said “ no Alan, no nuts today “

As my gf woke from her overslept slumber I messaged her…
Later in the morning the following conversations happens

Anyways later on I get home from work and we discuss Alangate and guess what.…?

Alan got peanuts that day

AntisocialTroll · 56-60, F
But Alan's so cute! He has the bushiest of tails, no sane woman could stand between Alan and his nuts...

You might wanna use a tin, all that plastic ain't good for a squirrel...

So jealous...
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@AntisocialTroll facts indicate we do not know how to sex squirrels, this could be Alana showing off her nips
Matt85 · 36-40, M
@GLITTER Oh right I thought Alan was your son.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Matt85 that must have been a very confusing read lol
DeWayfarer · 61-69, M
He knows the both of you. Playing one against the other. 🙃😆

Careful though, squirrels are rodents. They're like rats, they can be persistent and eat right through doors, in the wrong temperament.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@DeWayfarer yeah that’s what I’m worried about, I reckon he could easily chew through the cat flap. Lol. We’re trying to take him out to other parts of the garden to stop him from getting too used to being fed by the back door
Gangstress · 41-45, F
I like how i came in all innocent like has alan eaten today then?! 😅🤣
I will read things over and over until they register tbf x
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Gangstress “innocent”
Mooed78 · F
Alan is way too friendly lol Did Alan eat any chocolate or just ate the plastic?
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Mooed78 the monkey nuts and walnuts are in there 😅
Mooed78 · F
@GLITTER I should just read your post properly. Now I understand lol 😂
So much betrayal all over the place! 😱
@GLITTER do not let a squirrel get between you and your wife, ever. He's very cute and all, but he's not worth that.
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@NerdyPotato yet on day I can see it sleeping in between us in bed
@GLITTER that would be so cute 🥺
Keep your pimp hand strong.

Nice advice there…🤣
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@Vivaci it works for all manner of subjects lol
@GLITTER Noted 🤭 📝
ineedadrink · 51-55, M
Weaksauce, dear. Where was your resolve?
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@ineedadrink there is no resolve until I am the squirrel overlord 🙌🏼 watch this space bass face
ineedadrink · 51-55, M
Lol, I thought Alan was a dog...
GLITTER · 36-40, F
@HootyTheNightOwl one day Alan will be trained as if it were a dog

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