Eating is not a Federal Offense [I Am Fat]

I wish to protest against people who believe that a fat person who is eating something (or anything) is commiting a major felony and will soon be arrested.

I refer to those many people, especially my literary agent, who see me eating something and scream, "I CAUGHT you!!!!!" As if I was concealing a crime I'd committed. Sometimes they add, "You CAN'T deny it!!! I have the EVIDENCE!!!" My neighbor used to fish trash out of the garbage can screaming, as she held up a food carton or wrapper,"I have the EVIDENCE right here so don't you dare DENY it!!!"

First of all, if I am sitting in a public place, like my porch or in a public park, not inside a closet with a blanket over my head, I am not concealing what I am doing (eating a bag of Cheetos, for instance).

Second, it is not against the law to eat Cheetos (at least not at the present time). I get really angry when people use crime or courtroom oriented language to describe my behavior; I am NOT a criminal, no matter how angry my Cheetos make you feel. Recently, UN Agenda 21 gave grant money to some restaurant chains (Pollo Loco, for instance) to forbid people like me from eating their food ordered from the regular menu; they will only take my order from a special menu. So you can be happy that people like you--the Food Police--seem to be winning the game. But so far Cheetos, and other food I eat, are not yet illegal. So don't talk to me like I am in the process of committing a crime and concealing it when I am not. I might decide to do something felonious just to fit your words; like socking you in the kishkas! Then your language will be appropriate for the situation, and you can call the police.

Also, if while you are lambasting me for my "criminal" behavior, I decide to leave, instead of socking you in the kishkas, don't scream, "Don't you DARE run away from me!!!" I am NOT "running away" from you, just removing myself, legitimately, from an uncomfortable social situation I have a moral and legal right to avoid. Please don't turn it into a physical struggle; if I knock you down, I WILL sit on you and since I'm a fat lady, that could be tough on you. Just let me go and I will find a better place to eat my Cheetos.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Look... if you are overweight, you have a problem. Plain and simple.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@MarkPaul Some men just can't stop masticating!

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays Damn...

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@MarkPaul Wonder how his eyesight is with all that masticating. 🤔

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@MarkPaul Not up to you to attempt to regulate it. Believe me, fat people know they are fat and don't need reminding or policing.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@greenmountaingal But, based on my observations, they lack self-discipline. So, I'm not suggesting random strangers should intercede, but people known to the food abusers should step up with words the fat person might not want to hear.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@MarkPaul You are wrong. You need to read up on it. Lecturing fat people adds to their stress, putting more cortisol (a hormone) into their bloodstream which makes them want to eat more and adds to their tendency to put on more fat.

By the way, I know you are slim, but do you happen to have any other imperfections or problems yourself? Have you ever had a personal problem that was very hard to solve? Ever had to deal with an unfair social stigma or social embarrassment? Is your own self-discipline perfect? Just wondering.

Embarrassing and lecturing fat people does little good for the fat person but sometimes ups the social status of the lecturer.

Yes, I do work on my weight problem. Actually, believe it or not, I mostly eat what most people consider healthy meals most of the time. And, according to my doctor, all my medical stats except my weight are excellent (cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.). I am concerned about my personal problems and shortcomings. But I am sure that, as hard as losing weight is, it's probably easier than recovering from being a self-righteous judgmental A word.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@greenmountaingal I have (just a trace of) social anxiety. And, trust me, hiding from that, pretending it isn't a problem, that it doesn't bother me, are not recipe ingredients for confronting the problem; such actions only accentuate and extend the problem.

I welcome hints, tips, and admonishments. Of course, it is up to me to decide what to do with suggestions and to categorize those that come from people I respect and those I don't know. You see, I'm in control.

It's easy enough to have your ready-made excuses, rationalizations, and feel-good sentiments lined up. But, that only feeds your addiction, in a manner of speaking. Until you are willing to take grown-up action, I'm afraid your child-like solutions will never amount to much. I admit that's not the nicest thing to have to say, but brutal honesty often does not come wrapped in a tasty little package of sugar-coated fluff designed to make you feel good... in the moment.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@MarkPaul Have you tried meds for social anxiety? The SSRI anti-depressants are supposed to help.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays It's a trace. And, I don't do "meds," looking for a quick easy fix with 0.0 effort.

arkod · 36-40, M

@MarkPaul Sorry to barge in.
I just wanted to ask you out of curiosity?
Has your social anxiety improved, gotten worse, or stayed just the same in the last, sayyyy, five years?

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@arkod Improved.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@MarkPaul I do meds. Love my meds. To each his own, buddy. I also do my own part. I do high intensity interval training to help my mood and mental state.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

@MarkPaul Keep working on it.