I am too fat, but I can’t stop eating. I’ve struggled with my mental health and weight as long as I can remember. But the urge to hurt myself went away every time I ate. So I kept eating. And now, I don’t want to do anything rash or hurt myself, but food is my life now. I can’t seem to stop eating and gaining weight. I know I’m too fat and it’s only getting worse. I can’t fit a seatbelt around myself in some cars. I struggle to get up from furniture that is too low to the ground. I wear leggings and sweaters because the stretch with me and aren’t constructing like jeans. I can feel a waddle developing as I walk. I’m winded going up 15 stairs. I’m soon to be 23 and I weigh 427 pounds. I get embarrassed and frustrated when I try to exercise so I quit. And eating is the only thing that makes me feel better, so the cycle continues and I gain more even more weight. I’m proud that suicide and death no longer lingers at the edge of every thought I have. But now putting each bite of food in my mouth is my every thought. I’m too fat and I know what the solution is but there’s something that stops me from actually doing it and it’s frustrating as hell because I have no excuse for being the size I am and I should be able to fix it and I should have never let it get this far but here I am. Inching closer to 500, 600, 700 pounds and death and I’m not stopping.
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something i've done before to help control eating bad foods is to imagine stuffing the cookie (for example) into your leg or arm or whatever. kept me from eating it. (i should employ that method now lol as I am trying to lose weight again) a trick my mom taught me is to post an unflattering pic of yourself on your fridge door or on your cabinets or wherever you keep your food. helps to motivate you not to eat. i think it helps. i think really the first step is to not bring junk food into your house. and control yourself from going out just to get bad food that you shouldnt be eating. like make a shopping list when you go shopping of only healthy foods and don't buy anything else. maybe give yourself a cheat day once a week to enjoy foods that you really shouldn't eat but love so you still get to enjoy your guilty food once in a while. (keeping it in moderation of course still) i know it's hard but you can do it. have you heard of keto? it's not really an ideal diet, but eating hardly any carbs makes you not hungry all the time after a day or two of doing it. even if you go back to eating carbs i think it helps to do the keto for awhile just to get into the habit of not eating so much throughout the day. i know when i eat a lot of carbs i get constantly hungry. lots of people are reporting successes with a keto diet. otherwise maybe see a psychiatrist for an antidepressant. i've found wellbutrin can help decrease your urge to eat. it helps regulate your serotonin levels or something and i saw a show that said that can be one reason why some people overeat. because they have a glitch in their brains don't produce enough serotonin or something like that. in any case a psychiatrist might be able to help you some if you can't manage to do it on your own. good luck. i could use some of it too.
