I am too fat, but I can’t stop eating. I’ve struggled with my mental health and weight as long as I can remember. But the urge to hurt myself went away every time I ate. So I kept eating. And now, I don’t want to do anything rash or hurt myself, but food is my life now. I can’t seem to stop eating and gaining weight. I know I’m too fat and it’s only getting worse. I can’t fit a seatbelt around myself in some cars. I struggle to get up from furniture that is too low to the ground. I wear leggings and sweaters because the stretch with me and aren’t constructing like jeans. I can feel a waddle developing as I walk. I’m winded going up 15 stairs. I’m soon to be 23 and I weigh 427 pounds. I get embarrassed and frustrated when I try to exercise so I quit. And eating is the only thing that makes me feel better, so the cycle continues and I gain more even more weight. I’m proud that suicide and death no longer lingers at the edge of every thought I have. But now putting each bite of food in my mouth is my every thought. I’m too fat and I know what the solution is but there’s something that stops me from actually doing it and it’s frustrating as hell because I have no excuse for being the size I am and I should be able to fix it and I should have never let it get this far but here I am. Inching closer to 500, 600, 700 pounds and death and I’m not stopping.
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Stop! Go walk around your neighborhood and after a couple of weeks jog and work your way up from there. You should also talk to a counselor because your eating is an escape mechanism you are still young don't let these years slip away from you. And you seem like a genuine happy person in your pics.
@Lostpoet I am for the most part! Especially recently. I do walk around my neighborhood, but there are very judgmental ladies who have formed a walking group of sorts. They stare and snicker at me every time I go out. And I know their opinions don’t matter, but it’s very discouraging. And even if I do finish my walk, I’m so embarrassed I binge afterwards anyways. It’s not an excuse, by any means. I know it isn’t.
@StillLearning calories are one of those things the more you put in the more you have to burn off. So if you walk a mile and only burn off 200 calories than one slice of pizza probably undoes all that hard work. If you don't have a pet than you should get one if or get with a friend to go on walks with. And make a small healthy snack ready for when you get back. Like some yogurt or a healthy smoothie with plenty of water. I think you'll be surprised about how fast and how quickly you start to feel healthier and health should be your goal not body image or what you think other people think. I'd hate to see you missing out on life your 20s go by a lot faster than you think.
@Lostpoet I have a cat who is absolutely terrified of the outside so I can’t take him on walks with me. I’m going to try to keep track of when that group walks the neighborhood so I don’t cross paths with them. You’ve given me some awesome advice. Thanks
@StillLearning are they the same age as you? Maybe you can join them. I'm not sure but I think you can teach a cat to walk with you they do have cat leashes. Or you can get a puppy.
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@StillLearning Fuck em. Go early and wear earbuds. Listen your favorite music. People are pieces of shit. I think you’re beautiful and will be more so healthier. I understand though. I used to be much bigger than I am now.
@Lostpoet No, they are mostly older women with one or two in their 30s or 40s. If he could bear the door or outside without almost giving himself a heart attack I would invest in another leash. But he freaked himself out so bad last time I swear he about passed out and then after we got back home he destroyed the leash. So note taken. He isn’t about that life.
@StillLearning I like just walking around with a book, you can try that. Or you can buy a treadmill or elliptical but I think walking outside is more therapeutic for you.
@StillLearning Consider carrying a large high powered squirt gun and firing a stream of water at those snotty ladies. Or carry a high volume bullhorn and throw a few creative insults at them at top volume. Teach them to fear you.
