What does it mean when a straight woman said "I've never fallen in love with a woman before" Do I have a chance to be with her?
She knows I like her a lot. But she's scared of hurting me as she has never been with a woman before.
36-40, F
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DunningKruger · 61-69, M
When she says she's never fallen in love with a woman before, does she mean that she is experiencing feelings for you, or does she mean that she has never had feelings for another woman but she likes you enough to not want to hurt you? That distinction might be important to figuring out what she means.
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DunningKruger · 61-69, M
@Tinkerxbell It's possible for someone to love you without wanting to be with you. They still want you in their life, but they don't want to have a romantic relationship with you. The question for you then becomes if that is enough for you, if you can accept that level of involvement. What if she starts dating someone else? Can you still be "just friends" with her? Detaching yourself from her may be something you have to do for your sake, not for hers.
Tinkerxbell · 36-40, F
@DunningKruger You are right, I don't think I can handle it if she starts dating someone else. But I did ask her if she's seeing any guys because I got a bit jealous when they hang out. She reassured me that they are just good friends. She's willing to go anywhere with me and even said that I make her happy whenever she sees me. I am so freaking confused. I don't wanna get hurt and I wanna stop falling for her. She's not helping me. 😢
DunningKruger · 61-69, M
@Tinkerxbell It could be that she has feelings for you but she can't quite get over her social programming and the label of being straight that she has applied to herself. It may well be that that reluctance on her part might weaken over time if you hold the course, give her time and don't press her on the issue. Give her time to find her own way. The risk of that is, of course, getting hurt, so you have to judge what you can do for yourself.
Northwest · M
I'm sure a bunch of men will tell you what to do.
ineedadrink · 56-60, M
Tinkerxbell · 36-40, F
@ineedadrink She just smiled and said sometimes she doesn't know what to say to me.
ineedadrink · 56-60, M
@Tinkerxbell So she's confused & avoidant. Sounds like she could wreck you unintentionally. Caution ⚠ ⚠ ⚠
Tinkerxbell · 36-40, F
@ineedadrink I think I am gonna run for the hills then. Thanks so much for your input and care.
Convivial · 26-30, F
Pursue or live in doubt...
Sapio · 51-55, M
Ask her for clarification. Is she experiencing feelings for you or is she merely stating a fact.
HijabaDabbaDoo · F
Tinkerxbell · 36-40, F
@HijabaDabbaDoo Thank you. She's been sending me her pictures or videos since then (which I didn't ask). I was scared to ask for more than a friendship. We have been talking to each other daily now too. And seeing each other over the weekend.
wackidywack · 26-30
That might be a bad idea. They may often be only confused
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Tinkerxbell · 36-40, F
@jshm2 Oh thanks.. But she's been updating me with what she's up to everyday after that.
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GeistInTheMachine · 31-35, M
It means whatever she decides it means in any given moment. It's like quantum mechanics, so it can mean anything. Therefore it means nothing.