I feel like I am forcing myself to be straight???

You don't need to dissect your attraction towards women.
You're attracted to women and not men. That's the extent of it.

The more pressure you put on yourself to understand why, the more you risk pathologising yourself and thinking it's something you need to fix

I wish to offer a couple perspectives on the subject. Yes am cis-male, straight yet bi-curious as well.
Back in the 70s a very popular book was published, the Joy of Sex. However I am pointing it out due to the author. Alex Comfort. He was actually a sex therapist and did have a terminal degree in the field. I read some of his other publications and one fact that struck me was his thoughts on bi-sexuality and trying to find a "why". Recall in the 70 and 80s most LBGTQI folks were far in the closet. However, his thoughts were, everyone is born bi-sexual and as one goes through childhood and eventual puberty most individuals will gravitate from bi to either towards homo or hetero sexuality. Yet some may not divert either direction and remain bi. At that time I felt that was quite a reasonable explanation. It likely may be a some genetics, environment, experience, etc. The fact is we are who we are.
Fast forward to the mid 80s, when I realised my best friend from grad school [she was a senior I was doing my masters] and I after few years were very attracted to each other and hence... ended up married. A year after we were married she began drinking more and more to the point after 2 years she admitted she needed help. She got it through AA / outpatient TX etc. I moved forward and began work on PhD and after a few months in the program the truth came out.. she realised for 29 years she was burying her true desire, and when she married her best friend she buried it deeper with alcohol .. she is gay. Hence we of course ended up divorced and still are best friends. It took many years for her to find herself, however she now understood why she always felt different since she was around 6. Always had crushes on girls but found that "silly" since she would think, thats so weird... I like boys, I am not gay... well of course that was the mind set in the 60s...

So, given your feelings, you are who you are. Please do not force yourself to be someone that intrinsicly is not you. Be yourself and surround yourself with supportive folk. Sadly our society in US [if you live here] is increasingly going backwards on many issues and I fear for all my friends who identify LBGTQI +
If you wish to chat about this more please message me, happy to listen, hear and validate your thoughts.
Take care and wish you well.

Cheers

There really is no such thing as 'normal'. Never has been. Everyone is totally different. Different likes, different sexuality, different self-identities and so forth.

Just because you gaze at men (now), doesn't mean your preferences have changed. It could simply be biology talking... (think attraction for reproduction purposes. Something we are all 'preprogrammed' for). But again, this 'gazing' does not mean your sexual preferences have or will change at all.

just be yourself , be lesbian, bi , straight, just enjoy what you like in the moment

When a man and a woman are ready for a heterosexual relationship, the men go on dating sites and put up pictures of them posing with dead fish, and women put pictures of themselves in life jackets standing on paddleboards. It is how we evolved as a species.

If you find yourself staring longingly at a paddleboard, know motherhood is just around the corner for you.

Forget what is normal and like what you like, nothing else matters

Follow what you truly desire

The problem is in your eye as you think your orientation is on what you see. And it's obvious that you haven't had sex and assuming your orientation.

What you can try is to invite a guy and blindfold yourself and just let him handle you. You can then decide who you are.

Do what is best for you

You’re young. You’ll figure everything out. Try not to be so hard on yourself.