I feel like I am forcing myself to be straight???

I identify as a lesbian, and I am pretty confident in my sexuality remind you that I am a type of person who has to know everything if there's a question in my head I have to know the answer and I know we shouldn't put lable on ourself and let ourselfs explore things but what is happening to me is, I know I like girls and I don't like men in that way but for sometime ever since people have been telling me that it's okay to explore or it's just a phase, or it's fine it happens, I have this voice in my head mostly all the time looking at every single men older, , teenager, adult doesn't matter and I look at every single of them and ask myself do I like them and the answer is always no but I can't stop doing that because I can't answer myself how do I like women but not men because liking men should be normal and that's how everybody is, is there something wrong with me am I going to end up liking men because I'm forcing myself so much, what if I end up hating women with my overthinking but I love womens, as if I am afraid to like men or trying to stop myself from liking men but in fact I'm not but in my head I am, but with women it's easy I don't have to put effort to like them it comes naturally and during my teenage years( I'm still 19 btw), I've only had girlfriends never a boyfriend and yes I've kissed boys when I was like Very young but ever since I got self aware I knew I only feel attracted to women but after watching other girls so in love with boys, I don't understand how did I end up being a lesbian like how is it possible, is it gens, is it being too sporty or too much workout, I don't know I'm very confused it is practically killing my brain please help me, I'm sorry if I wasn't able to explain what I'm trying to say properly but I tried my best with how much I've figured out.... No offense to men out there I'm just very stressed at this point by all this mess in my head!!!! And I don't have any energy to date or be in a relationship with a men right now if you guys are you to say you should try being with a boy then see, even though I won't even think once if a girl ask me out though... Sorry

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Panda5689

I wish to offer a couple perspectives on the subject. Yes am cis-male, straight yet bi-curious as well.
Back in the 70s a very popular book was published, the Joy of Sex. However I am pointing it out due to the author. Alex Comfort. He was actually a sex therapist and did have a terminal degree in the field. I read some of his other publications and one fact that struck me was his thoughts on bi-sexuality and trying to find a "why". Recall in the 70 and 80s most LBGTQI folks were far in the closet. However, his thoughts were, everyone is born bi-sexual and as one goes through childhood and eventual puberty most individuals will gravitate from bi to either towards homo or hetero sexuality. Yet some may not divert either direction and remain bi. At that time I felt that was quite a reasonable explanation. It likely may be a some genetics, environment, experience, etc. The fact is we are who we are.
Fast forward to the mid 80s, when I realised my best friend from grad school [she was a senior I was doing my masters] and I after few years were very attracted to each other and hence... ended up married. A year after we were married she began drinking more and more to the point after 2 years she admitted she needed help. She got it through AA / outpatient TX etc. I moved forward and began work on PhD and after a few months in the program the truth came out.. she realised for 29 years she was burying her true desire, and when she married her best friend she buried it deeper with alcohol .. she is gay. Hence we of course ended up divorced and still are best friends. It took many years for her to find herself, however she now understood why she always felt different since she was around 6. Always had crushes on girls but found that "silly" since she would think, thats so weird... I like boys, I am not gay... well of course that was the mind set in the 60s...

So, given your feelings, you are who you are. Please do not force yourself to be someone that intrinsicly is not you. Be yourself and surround yourself with supportive folk. Sadly our society in US [if you live here] is increasingly going backwards on many issues and I fear for all my friends who identify LBGTQI +
If you wish to chat about this more please message me, happy to listen, hear and validate your thoughts.
Take care and wish you well.

Cheers

Lucky003 · F

@Panda5689 I'll keep that in mind thankyou so much🥺

Panda5689

@Lucky003 Pleasure

ArtieKat · M

@Panda5689

Back in the 70s a very popular book was published, the Joy of Sex. However I am pointing it out due to the author. Alex Comfort. He was actually a sex therapist and did have a terminal degree in the field. I read some of his other publications and one fact that struck me was his thoughts on bi-sexuality and trying to find a "why".

I thought I had inherited my father's copy - if I remember correctly, they trained or worked together in their 20s

Lucky003 · F

@ArtieKat seriously though, woww😳