My Gay friend is suicidal

Hello everyone. My gay friend was infected with Aids from his ex boyfriend and he has been takinh RVs for the last 6years. Life hasnt been so easy for him since everyone is avoiding him and there has been times when he wants to commit suicide because he thinks his life has ended. And people always talk bad about him. I told him to move in with us and i cant tell my family that his infected. Sometimes he doesnt what yo eat food. Any advice on how to change his life so that he can know that he can live for long and he how to tell him not to miss taking his drugs. And why do people hate infected people.

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Tastyfrzz · 61-69, M Best Comment

Back in the 80s when AIDs first came out no one knew what it was or how it was transmitted except that it appeared to only be in the gay community. Then it xame out that women could get it too. There was no treatment and a lot of folks died horrible deaths. Rock Hudson was the poster child for it in the tabloids. There was a lot of paranoia. No one who was gay could give blood. Descrimination was really rampant. I gof married at age 22 in '83 during the peak of it and didn't have any gay friends that i knew of as they were staying in the closet. Kids that i had gone to school with that were gay were dropping dead from it. There was no such thing as sex without strings attached. Gay or straight. Religious fundamentalists insisted that it was the wrath of God bringing justice down upon the immoral acts. Meanwhile the major players in the moral majority were getting caught with their pants down with their gay lovers. Suicides were rampant as those infected found themselves cut off from friends, family, jobs, housing... Finally there came word of medications to extend the lives of those infected. Education and treatment funded by the federal government reduced the blatent descrimination. But a vaccine was never developed. MRNA techniques were developed but politics has prevented it from being used to make a vaccine. The religious right has prevented it from happening. Forty years later i think there is more fear of drug resistant gonorrhea and syphilis. Herpes was the big scare for a time. That too seems to have reduced with the availability of antiviral treatments. Vaccines for hpv are now available and are encouraged.

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

It's simply the same stigma people were putting on covid people...

Aids is a disease that you can catch from another person's bodily fluids... And unlike covid that would go away, it's something that if you caught it. Would stay with you forever. So idk your friends actual social life so I can't speak for what people are saying about him and if they actually hate him or not..

But people are likely to avoid the infected people the same way the avoid and exhibit paranoia towards anyone with covid.

His life isn't over but in a way it's crippled.

There are dating sites specifically designed for people with similar limiting STD's to date or make friends on...

Encourage him to maybe join Amino or other chat sites for social circles to start getting himself involved in.

As far as inviting him over like that without telling people.. If they found out and could possibly blow up on him that could make him feel even worse, and possibly push him over the edge... So I'd second guess on whether it's the safest bet... and be thorough in your evaluation.. If you can guarantee no one would find out then that would be a different story.. kind of a double edged sword situation but maybe helping him is better than nothing...

In a way his old life may be over... He's going through the 5 stages of grief... And the old may be over, but he needs to get focused on what will be new.. Once they finally accept that, they can have some semblance of hope for what will be... He needs to let go of those who will disrespect him and accept that there are others out there with similar hardships who he could meet that would encourage him and be better for him instead.

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Annie13 · F

@AuRevoir

It's simply the same stigma people were putting on covid people...

It's not. The HIV stigma focused on queer people and was used to discriminate while people who have Covid might be shunned for the time they have it they should also have the self awareness to just isolate till its over.

Reading your replies you seem angry i disagree so you act like a snowflake

AuRevoir · 36-40, M

@Annie13 again using your interpretation instead of what happened in the history books…

It is the same exact stigma… “avoid at all costs”
“They will get you sick if you’re around them” “They have something you definitely don’t want to catch” “We refuse to work around anyone that has it..” 😂 You clearly don’t know what aids was like in society when it was first RELEASED… 😂 otherwise you’d see all the very clear and very obvious similarities being made between the two..

And oh yes.. 👀☕️ Such angry eyes emoji’s.. 👀☕️ Such an angry cup of tea emoji… 😂 such an angry laughing face emoji… 😂 How ever will my replies contain all their rage??

Your tangent is based off the here and now, in the distant future of 2023, as if everything that ever occurred with it, the way it was dealt, and the way it was handled, was as it is now…

Fact. They had no idea what aids first was… They did not know if it could be spread through the air or not! 😂 or if it came from an outside source in the world, but they told people to avoid others with it.. at all costs because for all they knew, being around someone who coughed, could spread it to another person… It was a new disease in the world. And they had to discover why it was spreading, how it was spreading, who it was spreading to etc.. etc… it wasn’t a history book.. giving you all the answers.. 😂 it was them living in real life time with a deadly VIRUS… Key word there.. And knowing nothing about it at the time… Science had not even come to the point that using someone’s DNA on the scene of a crime had been used in court yet… So again.. 👀☕️ Tell me how none of this, correlates to the same sociological effects, with the reactions people had with coronavirus… And how “wrong” I am.. that it was never treated with the same reactions?

Snowflake, snowflake, now let’s explain that word real quick..

Snowflake" is a derogatory slang term for a person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.

So let’s see, you automatically, read my post online, you view internally that my opinion is different than yours, you thusly can not keep it to yourself, and begin to become offended that my opinion is different than yours.. and begin typing out how you disagree with me! Underneath MY POST! 👀☕️ And then you become overly emotional.. and persist to call me “snowflake” all the while the blatant irony of your screen name being called “Fragile Heart” 😂☕️ I just can’t with you.. 😂☕️ The irony is too delicious.. so *Ahem* listen here snowflake.. 👀☕️ You getting hog and bothered underneath someone else’s posts with your knee jerk reactions.. 😂☕️ Is what a snowflake actually is.. 😂☕️ Otherwise you never would have been upset with my differing “opinions” 😂 even though all I was referring to was the same level of fear mongering that was associated with the disease itself known as aids, and it’s clear cut similarities with the disease known as the coronavirus.. 😂 in no way was associating stigmatizes based on gay groups.. that was your own distinction that YOU chose to make.. and incorrectly apply, to a context that was in no way made in part by my references of AIDS and it’s initial discovery, and impact on the world.. 😂 So again, you were basically having an argument with no one, other than yourself, as you were not even in the same boat as me… I’m talking about the disease itself, it’s origins, and it’s societal impact… You’re talking about a group of humans and their personal history with said disease.. 😂 which is a completely separate category of the topic… I focused on aids, you decided to focus on gays.. 😂 Now I’d you learn to one day follow the differences between context, similarities, and distinctions.. You might be able to have much better online interactions.. instead of just being an actual snowflake who keeps trying to tell me I’m wrong, when the topic is boxing, but you’re over here in the lightweight categories, and I’m over here in the heavyweight section.. 👀☕️ Wondering why the hell you don’t know how to follow through in understanding how things are compartmentalized.. 👀☕️

Alright, I made my point, bravo, you got me to explain absolutely thoroughly, congratulations, slow clap, next time actually research and do your homework instead of simply saying you understand a subject when your blatant lack of follow through and understanding is too obvious to the one you’re engaging in such discourse with.. Ta-Ta! 😂🍿

Annie13 · F

@AuRevoir 🖕😘
I stick to it not being comparable since Aids was immediately tied on a group of people. You can't seperate Aids from queer history it's connected unfortunately.
The rest is a bunch of bla bla cause you got so triggered.

sexyjigsaw

I told him to move in with us and i cant tell my family that his infected

No, your family needs to know. If he gets cut on something and that thing cuts and infects someone else, what on earth would say or do? Do you know how bad AIDS can be?

People don't want to get infected, period, especially with something that bad. I myself avoid and quarantine when sick and I leave my friends when they're infected.

Point 1 in a nutshell: your family's health matters and everyone will try to protect themselves from dangerous or infectious diseases. It isn't hate. It's common sense health and hygeine. People want to stay away from getting sick. Your family has rights too and they deserve protection. They don't deserve to be put at risks y'all clearly know about but simply won't alert them about. Do you really care about him being affected by something like this when you're willing to put your family in danger to be harmed by that same thing? Please, avoid jeopardizing innocent people's health. If he's hurting because of this, he should understand that.

I suggest at least telling your family to watch out for something as serious as AIDS. This isn't even what the main point should have been.

Point 2:
Good for caring about the situation of your friend. There are avenues to take care of it and work to a better future (without placing you family at risk).

He needs to process what he's gotten into. It's not easy but he has to first accept the truth. This is his situation amd he needs to become inspired to stand up and take his actions for himself. It has to come from him. He will regret, mourn, and grief. Be a kind, honest friend and gently push him to good. Everyone wants to do well. You know he wants to help himself. Give him enough space to think and act while encouraging him to remember that he's the one who has to work to protect his health. Not just his, but your family as well.

So remember, help inspire him to take tge right steps to improve. He can walk and he can take those steps. But sace your family from risk in the process. Things can get better but let's not break something to fix something. One step at a time

Munirah256 · F

@sexyjigsaw you are right. I told my family and we all talked about it. There was counseling and my family got him a songle where to stay and he will be given help from there. Thanks f

sexyjigsaw

@Munirah256 beautiful. You're doing good things for working to protect your friend and trying to get him healthier. He'll make it step by step, hopefully 😁

You guys will make it out

Munirah256 · F

@sexyjigsaw thanks dear

Annie13 · F

Unfortunately HIV positive people are still stigmatized and depending on where you are in the world it could be a bit better or worse.
At least he has a friend like you.

Munirah256 · F

@Annie13 its so worse here in my country. No one whats to be friends with infected person. I really feel bad for him.

plankter979 · 51-55, M

There must be support groups for HIV+ people in your area or he can find a community online. He is not alone. If he keeps taking the drugs he'll e ok.

Munirah256 · F

@plankter979 thanks dear

Rainandforest · 26-30, F

Infected people can infect other people, that's why

Sjones13 · 41-45, M

Call the suicide hotline. J believe it’s 811

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