I think I am asexual

I always figured I couldn't be "ace" because asexual people do not experience sexual attraction. But recently I discovered that a lot of ace people enjoy erotic fanfic and that sort of thing. As long as it's someone else, not them. I think that's me.

I sometimes find myself wishing I was in a sexual relationship. In theory. But any time anyone expresses interest, I immediately shut down and feel extremely uncomfortable. I tell myself things like, "I wouldn't want to subject another person to my body." But if I'm honest, I think that's me projecting my own feelings onto someone else.

2024 EDIT: I have come to think this label doesn't really fit me. I don't think it was wrong to try it on for a time. Everything I said here are still issues I struggle with. But I am slowly learning to work past them. Some days are better than others.

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Morvoren · F

Don’t worry luv, I think younger me picked up the slack for you.

I blame the price deals on Rattler cider.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@Morvoren See I'm jealous. I wish I could be that.

Rattler cider sounds pretty damn good right now. That's actually another part of what makes me think I'm ace actually, drinking makes me more self-conscious about my sexuality rather than less. Makes me think it's intrinsic to who I really am, and not just fear of social taboos.

Morvoren · F

@ShadowSister Don’t be jealous. That period of time includes memories that to this day make me cringe with embarrassment. I made an absolute fool of myself on a frequent basis.

The only saving grace being it was a step on the journey to finding the man I’m now married to, who frankly makes every aspect of my life better in some shape or another.

ShadowSister · 46-50, F

@Morvoren That's a good reminder that it's easy to look at others and see all the problems we have that they don't. We are much less likely to notice the ways they have problems that we don't.