I did that with a woman I had coffee with a week ago.

Next day she invites me to her house, so in the spirit of friendship I went. Brand new home in a housing estate. Immediately upon pulling up outside I felt completely out of place.

The whole setting felt off-putting. I got really clear 'i want sex' vibes which gave me the ick. Lovely person to chat with but there were things that I felt are red flags esp when she started talking about money, about her mortgage and living choices related to her bespoke build house and some other semi-personal things plus she was showing off how 'blingy' the house is (in a way that's ok but in combination it wasn't). Her dog (small and fluffy) liked me, but I found the furry friend annoying after a while.

She (woman not her dog!) was wearing really chunky Tiffany and Co bling all over her. Her kids are adult boys in their late 20's and early 30's both partnered. I do wonder why women that are single all seem to have subsitute partners in the form of cats or dogs.

I went over a day or two ago after a request I sat on for half a day to help her mount and set up a new tv (big) to replace one (big) that got zapped in a storm a couple of days earlier but there was no physical contact at all not even hand touching or hugging or kissing and I made sure to not stay long. She hasn't been to my house. She was wearing the same Tiffany and Co bling from the previous visit.

I felt I couldn't make a romantic/sexual connection even though she kept saying the likes me. I did not feel any desire for sex and in a way felt 'trapped' in a way I couldn't understand as it was straight back to the 'walking on eggshells' feelings I had with my second ex up to 8 years ago.

She said 'don't be a stranger' when I left after the TV install help visit, and she's messaging me a bit. I do reply, with simple cautious responses, just to be courteous. But I delay the replies quite a lot.

I already told her after the first visit to her house all my old feelings of anxiety and fear about dating, relationships, etc. all came flooding back.

As the *only* woman to have shown any interest in me almost without any prior time together socially or courting/chasing I am very, very, very sceptical knowing I bought my house 2 years ago and I am very frightened that a woman I got with romantically might try to take it from me and also go after my retirement savings. Leaving me and my 8 y/o daughter in limbo and ejected from our home (she has her mum's home too).

That risk is too great to just jump into sexual contact with the first (and only since my second ex and I began dating 13 years ago) woman to allegedly express interest in me.

Yes, I told a girl that she was too fat once. She burst out crying. I’m sorry that I did it. I saw her recently, she looks slim and great. I was with my girlf who is the same size as the other girl was. It was a bit humiliating.

i cant remember if i ever did that to anyone.. i kinda avoid insulting people when possible 😬 there are people i'm not attracted to but i doubt they want to hear that 😬😳 or that i would have the nerve to tell them 😳 should one even do such a thing to anyone? 😬

Yes, I just said I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for.

I rarely had to say it, I have given a reason that is not relevant.

Its really hard to say stuff like that to anyone.

I dont know why i posed this question anonymously. I think that i was bored. I appreciate you all for responding.

Yes. I tried to be as nice as possible but it’s hard news to deliver

Yes I have. They kinda went batsh!t for a long while after that and wouldn't let it go. She was really dead set on changing my mind.

I never have. It’s weird to say that, but I can’t think of a time if I ever did.

It depends on the reason why I am not attracted to them. If it’s a personality, value, or ideological mismatch, I’ll just be up front about why I’m not interested.

If I’m not attracted to them because I find them ugly, then I’m gay.

I don't sugar coat anything

"It's not you, it's me."