I Hate Mothers Bringing Older Boys In The Women's Locker Room
I've always hated it when mothers bring their school-age sons into the women's locker room.
I am tired of the ogling, comments and embarrassment.
And dare you make a comment to the mother of an 8 or 9-year old boy or, worse, complain to the gym's management.
About four years ago at a public pool, I quickly stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in only a towel, stormed right out into the lobby still dripping wet and complained to the young clerk at the front desk that a school-age boy of perhaps 9 or 10-years old was in the women's locker room and "wasn't just starring at me but even making rude comments about my naked body."
The boy's mother, who had followed me to purposely start an argument, shot back quite loudly, "If you're that uptight about it, maybe you should at least trim it a little."
That generated snickers from not only the male teenage desk clerk but from the dozen-plus people within earshot who quickly started to gather around us.
The boy himself then loudly commented about everything he had seen as the people around us started to chuckle.
After I composed myself, I turned to the now grinning clerk and said "See what I mean? The little brat should be kicked out!"
That angered the boy's mother all the more, who scolded me saying, "Don't you dare call my son a brat, you little hussy."
Then quickly and with a strong grip she grabbed both sides of my towel, pulled me around to face her, my back now to the desk clerk, and demanded, "Now you apologize to my son right now. Or else."
The people who had gathered around whispered and snickered. Some pulled out camera phones but no one said a word. They were content to let it all play out however it would.
I grabbed the woman's wrists but quickly summed up my predicament and realized there was no way I'd retain the towel if she was serious in denuding me.
And to show me she was indeed serious, she pulled at the towel so that it parted open in the back. I heard snickering from behind me, no doubt from the teenage male desk clerk.
Swallowing my pride, I turned to the grinning boy and said, "I'm sorry. I apologize."
She then said for me to repeat, "...for being such rude a little bitch."
I repeated, "For being such a rude little bitch."
She then asked for my name.
"Becky," I relied.
"'Becky' what?" she demanded.
"Becky Romero," I answered.
"Say your name again and tell us what are you," she demanded.
Looking down at the floor, I did as I was told.
"I am Becky Romero and I'm... and I'm a rude, little bitch."
She then spun me around to face the desk clerk as I let go of her wrists to concentrate instead on holding the back of my towel closed, even as it began to slip dangerously low in front.
She grinned and then whispered into my ear.
I gasped, but complied.
Trying to avoid direct eye contact with the grinning teenager at the desk, I repeated to him what I was told to say.
"I'm Becky Romero and I want to report that... that I am a rude, little bitch and ask that I be immediately kicked out of this gym for causing an unnecessary disruption."
A downward tug my towel that nearly exposed my nipples encouraged me to say the rest.
"I should be told to wait in the parking lot for someone to bring me my clothes and car keys," I said.
The grinning clerk merely shrugged and said, "O.K. Sounds good," and he pointed to the exit. "I'll bring them to you in about ten minutes. You wait out there."
Apparently satisfied, the woman then released the grip on my towel.
Blushing badly and feeling like a complete fool and doormat, I then only compounded by embarrassment ten fold when, while trying to slowly back up away from the desk in an effort to rush back to the locker room instead of heading to the parking lot wearing just a towel, I instead tripped backwards over a bench behind me, flopped over it and landed on my back with my legs apart and dangling up on the bench as everyone quickly gathered and hovered over me to see if I was OK.
Fortunately the only wound was to my pride, especially given that the boy was quick to pick up my fallen towel and run off with it. Not that even being given the towel back would have mattered any more by that point.
School-age boys should not be in the women's locker room. Period. If there's no family changing room then the mothers or guardians of those boys should either have an older male with them who can take the boy in the men's locker room or they should STAY HOME.
Same thing. Mothers bringing their young sons in to either help them change or while they change themselves.
I'm not saying that mothers should leave their sons unattended while they change.
The unanswered question? Yes, I would rather be forced to undress and shower regularly at such facilities in full view of school aged boys rather than hear that one of them was kidnapped or worse.
Of course, I would more likely simply avoid such embarrassment by stop going to the gym if that became an official policy instead of merely being tolerated.
Just barely over a month ago after a workout I was scolded by a mom who asked me that very question with her two school aged boys at her side after I complained that I couldn't "get undressed with them in the locker room."
"Would you rather they be kidnapped?" she asked.
I meekly answered, "No, of course not."
"Well?" she answered, expected me to start undressing.
And then she stood there, crossing her arms, all three of them watching as I slowly and completely undressed and, turned to put all my workout clothes in my locker, closed it and then turned back to face her and the two grinning boys.
After I stood there several awkward moments, she introduced herself.
"I'm Trish," she said. "These are my sons, Owen and Sean."
I could only blush while the boys eyed me up and down.
At that point, I was about to belatedly try to cover my boobs and bush with my hands and arms but instead each boy politely stuck out their hand.
As I shook each grinning boy's hand, I introduced myself, "I'm Becky."
"Becky?" the woman asked.
"Becky Romero," I replied.
"Where are you from?" she asked.
I told her.
"See, Becky? That wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked.
I blushed and she seemed to smirk a bit. Then, as I was about to excuse myself and head to the shower area, she started asking me questions about the gym, saying this was only her second visit.
I politely responded and then wanted to walk away but she kept making small talk. This seemed to go on for about five minutes, me standing there fully undressed, all three of them fully dressed.
She told me she had two teenagers in high school, a boy and a girl. I wondered to myself why couldn't they have been there to watch the younger children, but decided that wasn't any of my business.
As it turned out her older children were going to my old high school. And then sure enough, I found out we have several mutual acquaintances, including a family on my street who have children of similar ages to her younger ones and her teenagers.
As the awkward conversation stretched out even longer, another mother with a boy about the same age as Trish's two boys walked over and began using the locker next to mine to change her pre-school daughter. That third boy made no effort at all to hid the wide grin on his face as he eyed me up and down.
Finally, I managed to excuse myself, saying "I'm sorry, but I have to shower and get going."
She smiled, said nice to meet you, as did the boys. I nodded and forced a smile.
I then walked over to the nearby shower area but the two boys wandered over and watched me while their mom changed her outer clothing. Eventually she walked over, too, waved and said "bye."
I can understand Trish's reluctance to leave her boys alone. Bad things do happen. We hear about them all the time. But when she introduced her sons to me, I discovered the two boys were 9 and 11.
Just like with the whole transgender bathroom issue, there are other options. In this case such as building multiple family locker room that one family unit at a time can use. Many gyms already have them.
Sad to say that even our gutless politicians are letting me into women's bathrooms as long as they play the gender equality rule and say that they can identify with both sexes.
Oh, don't even get me started on that!
It's bad enough to have to put up with young boys being able to walk in and watch, let alone grown men now.
Oh My God ! That bratty kid needs his Ass whipped and his BITCH Mother the same thing !
Honestly? I would have rather the woman yanked the towel completely off than even to have learned the brat would have gotten a whipping. His mother was the one who dragged him into the women's locker room in the first place and, despite what he said to me and then repeated to everyone in the lobby, I was wrong for focusing my anger at him.
I was the adult, he just a child. So in that sense perhaps I did get a bit of ironic comeuppance for my own poor behavior that day.😣
Yes, he was a complete brat. But whipping a child isn't the answer to teach him manners. It was obvious where he failed to get his manners from.
I can't imagine letting people push me around like that. The spoiled child is something I've come across myself. You can see in the parent that they have no sense of discipline and a total disregard for others. The boy and his arrogant mother should have been the ones to apologize and then told to leave.
ive been in changing rooms with children in them but ive turned my back while drying myself you must have faced the children
It was unavoidable. I was showering when the boy and his mother came in. In fact, as I was shampooing my hair I didn't even know they were there and that the boy had been watching me for several minutes while his mother apparently changed.
Then, after I realized his presence he began making the crude remarks. And it went downhill from there.
I will say that most young boys don't objectify me. I speak generally of the pre-school age boys. Even the 6-year olds just sort of look at you.
But the older ones, particularly if they are only there because their mom is changing or helping a young daughter change, generally do not mind grinning and ogling at me to make me more uncomfortable.
It's like they might as well just come out and say to me, "You're embarrassed, I know it and you can't do anything about it."
And I don't even want to get started on the ones that pull their mom's cell phones out of their purse (or the boys who seemingly have their own).😣
I've experienced the flip side of the situation in the men's locker room. Thankfully not the confrontation part. This guy had his daughter in the handicapped stall changing into her bathing suit, and then apparently sent her out so he could change. I had no clue she was in there and had stripped down and was walking towards the shower when suddenly there's a girl coming right at me who looked 9 or 10. It was pretty embarrassing because it's a small room so we were only feet apart, but even worse to think that I might then be accessed of having done that on purpose. Which thankfully didn't happen.
have you thought about the video from the front desk? of the front area? It was all captured these days on video, you in all your naked glory! yep! SUE!
Yes, I thought about that later. After two weeks I mustered the courage to show my face around there again and the other young male help around there seemed to eye me up and down as if mentality undressing me.
I mentioned that to one of my friends and she said, "Becky, do they have security cameras out in the main lobby?"
My heart sank. She came with me the next day and, sure enough, cameras were in the positions that would have caught it all.
Of course, that just added to the humiliation of knowing several people had camera phones out when it all happened.
As for legal action, it's past the statute of limitations and I wouldn't have bothered anyway. I had spent enough time in court rooms being humiliated while my nudity was discussed.
What about older girls and women in the men's locker room? I've heard that female journalist are permitted to enter men's locker rooms but male journalist aren't permitted to enter women's locker rooms.
@beckyromero As I said, I've heard about the policies. I'm not making the allegation myself, it's just that I had no reason to doubt its veracity as I know those types of double standards exist in the UK. I'm still not sure what the facts are.
You should have sued the gym for harassment and called the police to charge the woman with assault. The little shit behind the counter would have lost his job, and the gym owners would probably have given you a nice settlement. And a night in jail followed by a courtroom trial would have done wonders for that woman's disposition and would have taught her offspring a valuable lesson.
I just want to say that I'm sorry you were treated like that . I completely agree with you . There should be rules as to who can go into what shower or bathroom . But , sad to say that even our gutless politicians are letting me into women's bathrooms as long as they play the gender equality rule and say that they can identify with both sexes .
Completely agree Becky! Personally I would have called the cops and have her charged with assault and possibly unlawful inprisonment because she wouldn’t let you leave although that might be a reach. I’m also sure there are laws against bringing your kid in there so she would have gotten in trouble for that too
i think you walked into the reception hoping the towel would fall off
SW-User
Haha, good story !
SW-User
Lots of indulgences are occurring in the name of an otherwise good principle, - tolerance.
One other example - You know, like allowing biological boys play girl's sports and win all the trophies that girls who worked their whole lives to compete for, are now disadvantaged.
I'm older and honestly if I get to see that I'm not rendering commentary unless Its both welcome and I very much so like what I'm looking at in that set of circumstances if a young boy has nothing nice to say he should just keep his mouth shut... also shoudl also probably ask if you welcome him to compliment you before saying something nice.
you should have got dressed properly walking into reception with just a towel aroung you was an accident waiting to happen, how many times has a towel slipped of when just standing there i think you wanted to show yourself
@AgapeLove You didn't need to say it, the implication was there because of the matter under discussion. You also said people didn't "stick up for what's right" but fail to clarify who gets to decide "what's right". Personally I don't see anything wrong with locker rooms being open to all, regardless of sex or gender.
I don't think I should have to hide my nudity, rear or front, while in the women's locker room. And when showering, it becomes a mute point, doesn't it? Unless I'm supposed to only wash one side of my body just because a boy is in the woman's locker room. Same for when the boys or boys are only a few feet away from me next to my locker.
no becky you have a right to privacy but you handled the situation badly, were u more upset at being called chubby
Yes, perhaps I handled it badly.
But that's not quite what the boy called me. He instead referred to my shaving preference in crude terms. Of course when I tripped backwards over the bench and he ran off with my towel, several people commented that the boy's comments about my unshaven bush were accurate.
Dang that’s brutal. That mother really put you in your place even though you were right. But you were rude too so it was good to see you get put in your place. I am glad that that mother humbled you like that and made you apologize though. That’s good. You did kind of deserve it. :/
you should have got dressed properly walking into reception with just a towel aroung you was an accident waiting to happen, how many times has a towel slipped of when just standing there
I let my emotions get the best of me, as I unfortunately do sometimes.
That wasn't the first time I had been ogled at by some young boy in that facility. So that time I was determined to at least get that particular boy booted out.
I agree 100% that is very inappropriate to say the least Becky on every level,so sorry you had to experience such an embarrassing and belittling situation.I would have taken further action against the mother and the gym,
It makes me wounder what happens at home? Why does mum feel the need to be in the women's changing room., maybe she wants her kid to see her naked, a sexual fantasy or something.
I won't be judgmental about that mother in that regard. It is almost certain she brought him in there for her concern about his safety. And I think it's safe to say that's the overriding factor when this happens.
But I'm often scolded, told to deal with it or lectured that "when you're a mother you'll understand."
That stinks. I agree that older kids need to go to their own changing room. But nowadays there is no gender modesty allowed. Ethical behavior is shifting quickly.
That sounds horrific. Some parents lose all sense of reason when it comes to their own spoiled children. Think what he'll be like in another few years !
