I get the impression that I'm ugly to most women

This is not a deep insecurity but a position I've taken based on interactions. Women who can't see what I look like don't tend to reject me out of hand immediately, ergo I must have sonething wrong with me visually. Once people get to know me I'm great, but it's that initial hurdle that's proven easier to overcome online where they can't see me.

It's entirely possible that I've applied my own male biases onto a group who don't share them, and that there's some other issue like confidence which also doesn't carry over that I'm just too disconnected from to be able to perceive as an issue.

This is more of a vent than anything, and I'm not doing this to fish for compliments which would be the most obvious reason for a post like this.