I accept people cope and process in different ways. But it's very hard for me to be shut down/out.
My ex bf would cut me off like that. Not tell me what I did or he'd tell me what I did without hearing my truth too. There is no compromising with someone who shuts down. What could be a gentle conversation that brings us closer, turns me into a shaking, broken mess and it's so hard for me to dig out of the hole two people dug.
When one person shuts down, the other person still exists but their feelings don't matter. Their truth doesn't matter. They get nothing but whatever bad thoughts their head can come up with while the person who promised to be there, isn't.
It's not safe. You can think everything is fine and then the rug is ripped from under you.
I like and prefer to know where I stand.
Letting things fester and turn into resentment erodes the purest of loves.
We can all shut down to a certain extent. We get protective, defensive, it's natural. But giving the person who cares for you silence is just cruel.
It's okay to work through things together. It's okay to recognize we all have our issues and be real about it. We all hurt each other sometimes. If you really care for someone I don't think it's too much to ask for clarity and compromise though. It's okay to say, hey this hurt let's get on the same page if we can.
It matters how both people cope, not just the person that shuts down.
There is no expectation from me to be perfect, but emotional maturity and availability are something I can't compromise on. I am open and honest, I like to understand my partner so I can care for them.
If someone won't work with you for the relationship, there's no relationship. There has to be willingness to work together.
I can't invest my heart in someone who cares more about their ego than me. That is guaranteed pain.
Maybe I'm the jerk for not letting people pull me around like a yoyo. I try my best to be understanding, but I have my own things about me too that are probably wrong. Maybe wanting to work things out is wrong.
I don't know.
I'm probably just too much.
When one person shuts down, the other person still exists but their feelings don't matter. Their truth doesn't matter. They get nothing but whatever bad thoughts their head can come up with while the person who promised to be there, isn't.
It's not safe. You can think everything is fine and then the rug is ripped from under you.
I like and prefer to know where I stand.
Letting things fester and turn into resentment erodes the purest of loves.
We can all shut down to a certain extent. We get protective, defensive, it's natural. But giving the person who cares for you silence is just cruel.
It's okay to work through things together. It's okay to recognize we all have our issues and be real about it. We all hurt each other sometimes. If you really care for someone I don't think it's too much to ask for clarity and compromise though. It's okay to say, hey this hurt let's get on the same page if we can.
It matters how both people cope, not just the person that shuts down.
There is no expectation from me to be perfect, but emotional maturity and availability are something I can't compromise on. I am open and honest, I like to understand my partner so I can care for them.
If someone won't work with you for the relationship, there's no relationship. There has to be willingness to work together.
I can't invest my heart in someone who cares more about their ego than me. That is guaranteed pain.
Maybe I'm the jerk for not letting people pull me around like a yoyo. I try my best to be understanding, but I have my own things about me too that are probably wrong. Maybe wanting to work things out is wrong.
I don't know.
I'm probably just too much.
