I’m an alcoholic

I’m never not going to struggle. I will always be an alcoholic I’m just prolonging the suffering. Because I know I’ll just drink again one day. I never give it up for good. I went over a year. My psych was so disappointed in me. But expect it. It is what I am. I don’t want a benzo. I don’t want drugs. I just want my bottle. It’s so intense it hurts so deep. I can’t sleep. I just want to feel it again. I can’t