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Hard to believe

It’ll be four years next month since you died. Honestly I wasn’t surprised to hear from the police. I figured you were either dead or in jail again. Last time I had seen you I barely recognized you. You died in a shitty motel room in a place for drug addicts, sure there was some official cause having to do with stress to your heart but in reality your body just couldn’t handle the drinking anymore.

Really I still feel nothing. No sadness for sure. You made my life a living hell, drove me to attempt suicide numerous times, got me sent to jail for something I didn’t do. Honestly Im glad you’re not in my life anymore, it’s a lot easier now without your chaos. I wonder what it would be like to have a normal mom, one who actually felt empathy and love who didn’t stay up till 4 am every night drunk and destroy everything and wake everyone up. One who didn’t mumble about murdering me when I could obviously hear her.
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Sutten · 36-40, F