Today I've been sober for a little more than a month, and I feel super energetic and confident. I don't go to AA meetings or anything else of the sort, and I wouldn't even if I could. I don't believe that I need a higher power to help me, nor that addiction is synonymous with illness. I instead like to remind myself that frequent alcohol consumption has changed my brain in very real ways, which leads to what is known as cravings, hence my ability to withstand cravings and control my own behavior is equally real and possible. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, and that spring will be here before we know it. 🌷
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Congrats on your progress. It is a physical addiction and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to dealing with the cravings. My late partner would be getting her 50 year chip from AA this month if she were still living. I attended a couple of the open meetings with her, and I would say they are not so much about "a higher power" helping them as self-help support group sharing how they have overcome those cravings. Not promoting it; don't think it would ever work for me if I needed it. Just wanted to correct the impression that it is some sort of religious cult.
@dancingtongue I don't believe that I in any way alluded to AA being a religious cult, and I'm sorry I gave you that impression. In AA they're firm in explaining that a higher power needn't be religious, and that it may be anything your mind can think up. Where I live now, we also have religious cults who take in addicts, and I think there are some strict programs unrelated to either religion or higher powers, too. I'm not interested in any of it, but that's not a reflection on what I think other people should or should not do.
@Blanchy Sorry. Was a poor choice of words on my part. What I meant was that AA doesn't frequently meet in churches because of any religious connection but for the cheap rent and supportive environment, and while the Serenity Prayer is a part of their ritual it is not for any dogma other than the message of control what you, yourself can control.
@dancingtongue Right, I didn't even think about that, the only two AA meetings I went to didn't take place in a churge anyways. It was quite an experience though. Never have I met a stranger who was as kind as those people were to me, and I suppose that freaked me out a bit. I met up early and got to chat with two women who were sitting outside the building, and one of them told me that she had been a part of AA for a very long time – I don't remember exactly for how long, but I think it was more than 20 years. She talked about how she had made long-term friends through AA, and as the pessimistic person I can be at times, everything she told me made me wonder if she would be able to stay sober without the organization which seemed to have become an integral part of her life. Even if that was true, it really wouldn't be a problem for someone who wish to continue enjoying the meetings and people, but I couldn't picture AA playing a role in my life. I went there without knowing what to expect or even hope for, and that's how I found out that emotional support didn't do a thing for me. 😅
@Blanchy The other thing I learned from my partner was that all AA chapters were different. She started out in, and was an active member in the longest, one in Southern California that was very social. Groups of them met frequently outside of the meetings. Partially, probably, because some of them were high profile in the entertainment business and it was a way to let their hair down without worrying about anonymity. Chapters that she occasionally went to here in Northern California she found less social; more a bunch of anonymous strangers and less regulars. The woman you mention probably was a potential sponsor. For some, sponsoring those who are still struggling helps them. Others don't regularly attend, but find it helpful that that lifeline -- a meeting or a sponsor -- is helpful if the cravings start to get to be too much. From my observations, another thing that makes AA successful for so many seems to be the recognition that one size doesn't fit all so they aren't big on proselytizing or lecturing; just there if you want. But I agree with you, I don't think it would help me if I needed it. Which is unlikely these days since I have to eschew all alcohol due to my meds.
@dancingtongue It would be rather ignorant to assume that all AA groups are the same. To me what stands out the most about this organization is that provides people who have lost friends and family with a new community, and one which is non-judgemental and understanding of their problems – not only those related to alcohol, but possibly many more, since people with trauma often turn to escapism in form of drugs and alcohol. Your late wife was undoubtedly greatful to have you in her life, but many don't get so lucky. In that case, I think AA can and has been a life-saving organization, but I'm sure many people simply crave being understood by others who have been in their shoes, and that is what makes it so successful. You are likely more similar to me in the sense that you look outwards, rather than inwards; I don't so much wish to be understood, as I wish to understand those I want to be like, meaning that I for example take more comfort in engaging with people who haven't had problems with addiction, than those who have.
