Addiction of Any Kind

My brother, who lives with me, is an alcoholic. It is the most horrible of all things to go through as a caring sibling. When our mother died, I inherited my brother. I was the only one in the family that had children so it was an easy fix...Akindheart gets the kid. I raised him as my own.

He started drinking at 14 that I know of. He has been sober for long periods of time but then binge drinks when something stresses him out.

No one will help me. The family is done with him and I have to watch this on a daily basis. yes, I can kick him out, Yes, I can let him die and Yes, I know that he has to want treatment. Even my friends avoid me rather than discuss it.

It is the worst thing you can inflict on a family member. The absolutely worst. I have tried everything to help him. right now, he is doing good but who knows what will set him off again.

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whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M Best Comment

I sympathise and I have been where you are.. Thankfully thats in the past and he is a different person,. But part of that change was a special program for family support to teach us how to deal with it.. The bottom line is that none of this is your responsibility. It is his and only his..And nothing will change unless he is ready to change himself.. And to do that he has to change his life, which currently you support him in..
As harsh as it sounds, you being here to catch him when he trips is enabling him. Its your choice of course..But does he really need to change if he has a support network as things are???😷
Thank you for the Best Comment. I hope this all works out for you, even if he still struggles..I know how lucky we were...

akindheart · 61-69, F

@whowasthatmaskedman you are absolutely right. I have researched and found alanon meetings to go to which is my next step. he doesn't come home drunk or drive and drink. he disappears..i wait 3 days then go find him. it is horrible.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@akindheart I spend a couple of nights in an ER while the doctors an nurses lectured him on how he was still breathing with a reading of .40 and he was still talking in sentences. In the end it was his wife who laid it on the line for him, paid for the rehab and told him never to come home until he was ready to go totally dry.. He was good as his word..😷

akindheart · 61-69, F

@whowasthatmaskedman been there and done that. he doesn't come home while he drinks or he sneaks in after i go to bed. by the time i wake up, he is kind of sober. right now, he is ok. i don't know what sets him off.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@akindheart I can only tell you what I would do in your shoes.. Find a calm moment to tell him what he is doing to you (and make it about you) Then tell him how much he means to you, But that next time you will be changing the locks.. And you dont every want him to make you do that. Yes. Its emotional blackmail. And up till now you have been his emotional hostage..😷

akindheart · 61-69, F

@whowasthatmaskedman very good point. very good. i have done the first parts but not change the locks. when he starts drinking, he is near death. he can't even stand up. it is scary stuff and i know that he has been near death a couple of times.

whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M

@akindheart And if that happens in will be his choice.. The British Actor Oliver Reed drank himself to death while making "Gladiator' causing all sorts of re editing and shooting tricks to complete the movie. A great actor and a notorious drunk. He went out for a night on the town with British sailors while shooting in Malta.. The comment has been made that this is exactly how he wanted to go out.. Now I am not laying blame on anyone. That was his life and his choice from beginning to end. Just dont put yourself in position as his guardian angel. Thats going to end in tears and he wont be shedding a single one..😷