Is it possible to be in control if you lost it as an alcoholic?

@Graylight I can’t keep living like this not being able to have a drink :(

@Emosaur what many people see as proof is very often just that.
Alcohol grabs some people in such a way that they become an addict. One drink will send that addict into a tailspin. Leaving no option but to abstain.
When someone speaks from experience, it is by no means "wasting people's time". It sharing knowledge. And there is nothing wrong with that.

@basilfawlty89 Nope. This is a grand oversimplification of both AA and recovery in general. Ror the diagnosed alcoholic, no step-down or moderation is recommended by any medical pr psychological organization in the US. While it’s true that some may engage is reckless behavior and in using a substance to excess, that alone doesn’t make them an alcoholic. Those people may find a normal life with only some intake involved. There is not a single research study in existence suggesting alcoholics in recovery can healthfully drink again. That’s not AA fundamentalism; that’s science.

@Graylight cite the citation. Most alcoholics actually recover without AA. Just as people who got back from Vietnam who were addicted to heroin got better without NA.

If AA works for you, great. I have no problem with communal AA, but I have a problem with institutional AA that has no part of a secular government. "God will fix it" is not science.

There are alternatives to AA such as The Sinclair Method, CBT, SMART and moderation management which works fine. Alcoholics in Finland reduced their consumption by 60% for a long period. There's also psychedelic therapy.

My issue with AA is that it literally tried to censor any other form of addiction counseling. I have papers to show you regarding that if you want.

@basilfawlty89 @basilfawlty89 I'll find them - you'll have to remind me - studies, long term and longitudinal that clearly show AA and other fellowship programs, especially when facilitation teaching of those programs is offered, to be the gold standard in treatment. There’s a whole test book on it, and I studies with its author.

Yes, some people live a life of abstinence – that is not sobriety. And yes, AA isn’t a guarantee. What we know is it's the best treatment available right now when combined with CBT.

Someone always lives after being thrown unbelted from a car. Someone always aces the accounting final high on weed. These aren’t the norm, they aren’t the patterns and for the newly abstinent like the OP, complete abstinence from all substances is recommended under any approach. Detox, rehab and a shift in thinking are the first steps. And it doesn’t have to be AA. Smart Recovery is an excellent mis of fellowship and CBT exercises. And there are others than include mental health, religion, etc. The alcohol isn’t the problem; it’s what’s compelling the drinker to drink in the first place.

I promise you this much: If they did try to censor any other form of addiction counseling, then you were with the wrong people. those are the fundamentalists and they're an exceedingly rare bunch these days. Vestiges, really. As the world has moved on, so have AA and other fellowship programs.