I Struggle With Addiction

@LadyGrace it is ridiculous to be still addicted at 60

@LadyGrace talk about lifetime struggle. I used to be so creative in other areas, what is it that I have to escape or hide from beautiful life. I see so much color and beauty in people and life, yet, I need to numb myself from it...

I guess I'm made that way

@atlantic59 Well, whatever it is that is eating at you, you must address, and only you know what that is. I know from experience, that you do not have to continue to be this miserable in life. You can change things up to your liking. I've done it a lot of times and it works. Nothing will change until you change it. And I know you can do it.

@LadyGrace you are so right but I guess I won't or can't accept my root problem. I was in a recovery house for a while and at the end I couldn't come clean with what really was the issue. I think it is about leaving a girl who said she was pregnant with my child and I thought she had an abortion but didn't and I wasn't there cause I always kept moving. I think that might be a lot of my struggle

@atlantic59 It is a shame, however, life is about learning and growing ... every day. At the time we make mistakes, we only did what we knew to do at the time . The tragedy is if we do not learn from our mistakes . When we know better, we do better . We can never change the past and we should never allow the past to bury us. It will not change one thing if we worry about that one thing that we regret doing, so there is no sense at all and letting it enslave us the rest of our lives. That would be the great tragedy, to waste our life that is so precious and given to us, with regretting things for the rest of our life. It really is time to move on and use the gifts that God has given us. They are not to be wasted . Neither is life. punishing your self forever, will not change one thing about the past. It is futile to keep that alive . Keep looking in the rearview mirror, and you'll never go anywhere. And I am certain that you have great gifts in you , that you have goals that you know you can reach if you apply yourself. Please do not waste these gifts . They are precious. think about if you were in heaven right now and God said to you, what did you do with your life that I gave you? Would you reply well Lord, I lived my life with regrets and that is all I accomplished. See what a waste that would be of the life he gave you? There is no need to beat your self up over something that you were not ready to face . You can say to yourself, yes, I made some terrible mistakes, but I am not going to allow them to define who I am. I'm a much better person than that because I know better now and I had to go through those experiences in order to become a better person. Even God does not beat us up over past mistakes. Love yourself enough to forgive yourself and go on and do better. This is just the way we learn and grow . No one is miserable about it, but you. You are a good person so allow yourself the gift of love and take care of yourself and go on to help others . There are many people who need you in this world . You would be surprised.

@LadyGrace Thankyou immensely. I take a lot from your comments. You are truly speaking what I need to hear. I have heard this in other contexts, but from you, it sounds right. I know I can only change the future. Thanks again Grace

Like the old saying: 'Today is the first day of the rest of your life'

@atlantic59 Much love I am sending your way. You'll be okay. Just keep moving forward instead of looking back. Get back into being active in your own life and start moving forward. That only makes sense. I do firmly believe in you. I am 73 years old and I cannot tell you how many times I have had to reroute my life, reinvent myself, have courage, and move forward, no matter what. That is a necessary part of life, to readjust things to where they fit into your life, not cause strife and anxiety. We can change things up whenever we like . There's no rules. Life, I believe, is a constant readjustment. I never look back because that only keeps us in a dead past, which is unproductive. Always keep moving forward, no matter what. I am not going down at my age, without raging into the night, so to speak. In other words, I'm not going to waste my life. I want to make sure it counts for something, and I will make it count for something. I will always give life my best shot. We were not born to be quitters, but survivors, and even not survivors, alone. We are [b]more[/b] than conquerors through Christ, who strengthens us.

@atlantic59 During the hardest struggle in my life, I made up my own saying. It's not what you lose in life, but what you do with what you have left, that counts! It truly is.

thankyou. You are a Beautiful Precious Person. Your insight and knowledge is well appreciated. There is always hope.

@LadyGrace that is so true. - work with what we have left because it is precious

@atlantic59 Oh yes. There is [b]always hope.[/b]

@atlantic59 You're absolutely right.