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I Hate The Demons Of Alcoholism And Drug Addiction

She came home for a week. Told me she was going to clean up. I told her about the insurance agent that called asking for information. She dismissed it as if it was nothing. I didn't tell her that the hospital was sueing her for over 200 thousand dollars for the medical treatment of the motorcyclist that hit her car when her friend ran a stop sign.
A whole 7 days. 7 days of not coming out of her bedroom. She slept all the time. I was glad to have her under my roof. It was just the illusion that I was somehow protecting my child that made me feel more at ease. It was all a illusion. Her body looks broken, starved. Skin looks taught pulled over bone. I noticed her hair thinned and the bruises....bruises all over her. She had been in a fight with one of her "besties". Looks like she lost. That was tough for me to hear and see. I wanted to find this person who put their hands on my child and pour my wrath over them, all of them.
On day 6 her friend comes over and she let's her in sometime during the small hours while I slept. Sometime that day they left and then came back. That night they got into a fight. This person grabs her backpack and leaves but my daughter says she is going to but her friend says no. I tell my kid she isn't leaving. That starts a whole new fight with me. I held her arm as she fought to get free to leave. I just wanted to stall her till her junkie friend was gone. Her skin felt waxy,boney arm and wrists. She was screaming him much she hated me. Swinging her fists at me, kicking me. Her body is feable. All she could acomplish was verbally. It stung more than any hit I have ever taken.
She packed a bag and left 5 days ago. I may see her or I may not. I guess this is my relationship with my daughter now. Hatred of me and me having to accept that she hates me.
I cleaned her room today. Found a bag of insulin needles. There was blood on her mattress. I don't even know what I should do with all of it. I don't know what to do about anything.
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Noelle · F
Just keep loving her..hopefully one day soon she will reach out for the help she needs.
doctorlove · M
Jesus. That's the junk though - not your daughter. Your daughter doesn't hate you. Your daughter is barely in there any more. Don't let the shame ever make you believe your daughter hates you.

I'm on this path with my lil sis - prolly a lil further along than you. Keep loving her. That's all I can say. You will anyway, so don't be ashamed. This isn't on you. Peace.
Mygetaway · 51-55
My heart breaks for u as a parent. I'm so sorry!
Soartofreedom · 61-69, F
I am so sorry for what you are going through. It must be devastating watching her do this. I have been in recovery for a while now and my life has changed. She will when she's ready but not a day before then.The best thing you can do for her is to help yourself.Feel free to PM me.
LenaLunawhaaat · 31-35, F
I'm so sorry. Drug addiction is a horrible thing
Pinkheartcrystals1 · 51-55, F
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I will send prayers and love to both of you for her safe return and to end her addiction to drugs. This is so sad!
SW-User
I am so, so sorry. That must be so heartbreaking to deal with.
SerenitiesScars · 36-40, M
Very sombre mood going on around here... Sorry it's so shitty for your daughters life that it's in turn affecting you like this. I hope something sparks in her mind soon other than the drugs that make her realize it's time to start living life again, the way it's meant to be... I wish you both well. Try to take it easy, if you can.
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pearllederman · 61-69, F
me too, theres this guy that keeps coming to church all drunk, falls and almost takes people down with him, i hate it when people drink so much

 
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