I Struggle With Addiction
I have written a couple of stories about it now - but I have an addiction to opiates. It's been a problem for me for quite a few years - and I have been clean and then made the mistake of getting dirty again.
The fear of being sick is amazingly powerful though, and I believe it's a hard thing for those who haven't felt it - to imagine.
There is a documentary about a methadone clinic in NYC, it's called Methadonia. I have watched it, and I have to say - it's not very uplifting. I feel like they gave their view of the process, and I am glad someone did - but I don't think it's all that accurate; at least, if you compare it to my clinic.
I have been at my clinic for 4 or 5 years now. That's an awfully long time, and during it I have been going EVERY DAY, excluding sundays and holidays.
I started back when it was even owned by a different company. The owner is now a corporation with many other clinics around the country. When I started happened to be the same exact day another long-time client started... His name is Russel, and he's a homeless guy. During this entire duration, the 5 years, Russel has been homeless. I have had a home this entire time, and it's been a big expense, but I have continued to manage to make the payments. Thank god!
I often think of Russel, during very cold or rainy days - and I wonder how he is surviving. His journey is much more difficult than my own, despite how I feel sometimes.
I feel like I am in a unique position. I am well liked by not only clients at the clinic, but also by the staff. I have been there longer than many of the staff, and I feel they treat me with an additional modicum of respect; when compared to the average client.
So, with my ability to have discussions with all of the folks involved with the clinic - I believe I have a unique opportunity to share a valuable and honest perspective of a methadone clinic.
I am thinking of starting a Kickstarter campaign, and collecting some money to help me really dedicate myself to this process. I can do the video taping with my phone - and interview clients, both some new ones and more long-time ones. I can get their ideas on recovery and relapse, and make a much more accurate film about methadone maintenance. I believe there are a couple/few types of folks that go - some are dedicated to recovery, some are just thinking about it and biding their time before they begin their recovery, and others that have no genuine thoughts of recovery, but they like the safety of the clinic. (You see, many long-time addicts join a clinic, because if their dealer gets arrested, or anything else strange happens - they don't end up dying from sickness.)
I also want to do a similar documentary about homeless folks here in Denver. I feel like humanizing the issue is a big step towards solving it. People look at homeless people differently than they do "regular" people. They feel they deserve their current situation, and the desire to provide assistance is precluded by the general public's attitude.
Thoughts?
The fear of being sick is amazingly powerful though, and I believe it's a hard thing for those who haven't felt it - to imagine.
There is a documentary about a methadone clinic in NYC, it's called Methadonia. I have watched it, and I have to say - it's not very uplifting. I feel like they gave their view of the process, and I am glad someone did - but I don't think it's all that accurate; at least, if you compare it to my clinic.
I have been at my clinic for 4 or 5 years now. That's an awfully long time, and during it I have been going EVERY DAY, excluding sundays and holidays.
I started back when it was even owned by a different company. The owner is now a corporation with many other clinics around the country. When I started happened to be the same exact day another long-time client started... His name is Russel, and he's a homeless guy. During this entire duration, the 5 years, Russel has been homeless. I have had a home this entire time, and it's been a big expense, but I have continued to manage to make the payments. Thank god!
I often think of Russel, during very cold or rainy days - and I wonder how he is surviving. His journey is much more difficult than my own, despite how I feel sometimes.
I feel like I am in a unique position. I am well liked by not only clients at the clinic, but also by the staff. I have been there longer than many of the staff, and I feel they treat me with an additional modicum of respect; when compared to the average client.
So, with my ability to have discussions with all of the folks involved with the clinic - I believe I have a unique opportunity to share a valuable and honest perspective of a methadone clinic.
I am thinking of starting a Kickstarter campaign, and collecting some money to help me really dedicate myself to this process. I can do the video taping with my phone - and interview clients, both some new ones and more long-time ones. I can get their ideas on recovery and relapse, and make a much more accurate film about methadone maintenance. I believe there are a couple/few types of folks that go - some are dedicated to recovery, some are just thinking about it and biding their time before they begin their recovery, and others that have no genuine thoughts of recovery, but they like the safety of the clinic. (You see, many long-time addicts join a clinic, because if their dealer gets arrested, or anything else strange happens - they don't end up dying from sickness.)
I also want to do a similar documentary about homeless folks here in Denver. I feel like humanizing the issue is a big step towards solving it. People look at homeless people differently than they do "regular" people. They feel they deserve their current situation, and the desire to provide assistance is precluded by the general public's attitude.
Thoughts?
