I Don't Cancel People

Do you remember in 2019 when Ellen DeGeneres sat next to Former President Bush at a football game? Some people got sooo crabby about it.

That story became a catalyst for me to decide my own principles about how I relate to people I have strong differences with. After much contemplation, I decided that I'm fine with it. In fact I prefer to cultivate it.

And actually, given some of what we've learned about Ellen since then, I think I might have some personal issues with her myself. But it wouldn't be enough for me to cancel her. That's not my style.

I cast a wide net of friendship. With very few exceptions, if you are willing to be friends with me, I am willing to be friends with you. If your friendship with me is contingent on me NOT being friends with someone else, well, then you've just made the choice for me. I guess you won't be friends with me then. I won't turn my back on either of you. But likewise, neither of you get to control me.

But what happens if someone I call a friend really does become a villain? Do I cultivate friendships with evil people?

Well, first of all, when in doubt, I err on the side of maintaining friendships, even with "bad" people. But at some point, yes, I may decide to cut ties. I'm not going to be friends with someone who is unrepentantly abusive. But if things are that bad, it's going to warrant me having a discussion with them before I break off the relationship. After all, if I'm going to cut them off, the least I can do is let you know why before I do.

I can only recall a single time in my life when I've had to cut someone off. And I can think of a second time when I almost did. But we ended up not seeing each other again, so it became a moot point. And perhaps there are a small handful of other situations I'm not remembering. But my point is, it's rare.

This is my chosen principle.

I don't expect that everyone should hold my principle. You do you. If you choose to be quick to take offense, so be it. Don't come whining to me about how no one likes you. The principles we choose to live by produce results. I live with my results, you live with yours.

In my experience, the people who are quickest to whine about so-called "cancel culture" are also the quickest to hit the block button on SW.



[b]Which is it? Are you against cancel culture or not? If so, then walk the walk and don't just talk the talk.[/b]

Here's what Ellen said:

[quote]I’m friends with George Bush. In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different and I think that we’ve forgotten that we’re all different. For instance, I wish people wouldn’t wear fur. I don’t like it, but I’m friends with people who wear fur and I’m friends with people who are furry, as a matter of fact...

But just because I don’t agree with someone on everything doesn’t mean I’m not gonna be friends with them... When I say be kind to one another, I don’t mean only the people that think the same way you do. I mean be kind to everyone. It doesn’t matter.[/quote]

Well said, Ellen.