Any regrets in your life? (Especially for the older people here).

@DoubleRings No, it's fine. Umm.. 2-3 years, off and on.. with each subsequent binge I went on, I would end up taking more and more of it, and became more and more crazy in my thinking and behavior.

At first, it doesn't make you crazy at all, it makes you energetic, extremely happy, very sharp focused, on top of your game, so to speak, but what always ends up happening is that it keeps you awake for days and days, you loose sleep, you stop eating.. not because you want to really, but your body no longer throws you the correct signals to take care of yourself, instead, to just use more and more of the drug to get the same good feelings, and not crash, so to speak.

It also makes you completely helpless to dopamine, meaning.. sex and porn can literally captivate you for days, other risky behaviours too.. it's like, your brain no longer recognizes danger or consequence, and acts ONLY in a way to serve itself pleasure and thrill.

For instance, I starting cutting and mutilating myself, for fun, and because for some reason, didn't think I could die from doing that, or I didn't care. Literally nothing mattered, only satisfying desire mattered.

A zombie drug, for lack of better word.

@MougyWolf it's Great that you're in Recovery now.
[b]Congrats[/b]

@MougyWolf wow this is the best information I’ve read about it. I taught a kid who’s mom was on meth. Lends some understanding because the kid was not doing well and eventually I had to make a call and she was apprehended by child services. (I didn’t know about the meth till after that)

@DoubleRings Thank you.

@BittersweetPotato I picked the wrong career under a great deal of pressure from my mother and my college instructors. There was a career I wanted but I was told I wasn't strong enough for that kind of career. I was told that the only career I could get into was education and the only way I would ever make a living was as a teacher. The career I did want was considered a man's job at that time. Of course, nowadays lots of women have done it and I am pretty sure I could've made it on that career path. My mother bullied me and abused me daily both mentally and physically, so she saw me regularly at my weakest and therefore didn't believe me capable of much. I am sorry now that I believed her.

@greenmountaingal What was the career that you wanted? I guess the learned lesson is to believe in our capabilities and not in what people tell us we are...

@BittersweetPotato Yes, you are right. The best way of knowing for sure if we can do something is to try it and then see how it comes out. I would rather not name the career I wanted back then. I will say it had something to do with airplanes (not pilot). And it was a "man's job" back then, though no longer. It would've created some serious problems for me back then for some unusual reasons.