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I Have BPD - Borderline Personality Disorder

I love someone who is excessively moody. Being around him is like tiptoeing on a minefield. I've consulted Dr. Google and I seriously wonder if he has BPD, but he gets upset when I bring it up. Maybe he is just ultra-sensitive?

He is not always this way, but when it comes out I have serious doubts about my future with him. Being on constant guard with a person is no way to live.

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MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Yeah... but you can't just walk out on him. You can't...

freebird · F

Why not?

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Well... it would be devastating... to him.

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: Yeah that's true, but what about me?

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Well... yeah I admit it must be hard on you. But, his condition... I mean he has a condition that is beyond his control... You can deal with the circumstances... he most likely can't.

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: I don't even know if he really has a "condition". He won't even admit he has a problem. All I want for now is for him to admit he has a problem.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Yeah, but that's the toughest part... you are confronting his denial... it's no wonder he is digging in his heels.

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: Sometimes he will seem to have a "moment of clarity" but those are short lived. He always goes back to the denial.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Yeah, I get it... denial works like that. You can't force him to stop being denial as long as "denial" is in power. Surely, you must love him...

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: Truly I do. 💔😥

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Well, can't you just give him some time and space? I mean, I get that you are the one having to sacrifice, but still...

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: That won't solve his problem, if he doesn't take steps to change he will always be the same. He also has issues with abandonment and rejection. Any space or time I take will only trigger those feelings for him.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Geez... are you sure I'm not your bf... I have these same things. I guess that's why I am taking his side, I guess.

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: I don't feel like you're necessarily taking his side, but I'm glad you can give me insight into him.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Yeah... it's just that if he feels he is being pushed into a corner... it's like he can't come clean... the denial will just dig in deeper...

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: He is actually seeing a therapist but hasn't talked to her about it. I will see if he can at least try to broach the subject with her. He is going through some major ordeals right now too, so I mean I guess I just have to be patient.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

Yeah... I don't mean to come off like you don't count or that you are stuck or have no right to your feelings. I am sure you going through hell with all of this and it's not something you asked for or deserve. I wish I had someone in my life like he has with you... sorry for feeling envious.

freebird · F

@MarkPaul: Well if I walk out of his life he won't have me anymore.. and that honestly hurts me to think about. At least you are aware of your problems..

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

yeah... but I didn't just wake up one day and scream out, "I have problems and I know what they are." I put a lot of effort into the denial routine myself.