I Am Tired, So Very Tired

Emotional rant:

Tired of trying to please and impress. I've tried to be perfect in the eyes of different people ..for too long.. then .. I fet like I lost vital parts of me.

I only realised that I have given too much when my mind, heart, and body screamed in unison.

..when I felt those kind of inner, dangerous, invisible tears flow like a river within. They don't reach the eye.. they just freeze in the heart.

It's a kind of pain not always understood even by my closest.

I've reached a point where .. it is too exhausting to care about what "they" say. It is too much to hold on to "them".

How about caring about what I want for a change. I don't find it egotistical to want to feel better and grow .

I've been postponing this change for too long. It is time to get clear and forward.

Who stays will stay , who goes will go.

I let the wind pass through my hands... I'll let go ..

Until I find myself.

StarLily · 51-55, F

This is exactly where I'm at ("tired, so very tired"). I have "lost vital parts of me"... neglected rather. I'm taking small steps in learning to value and cherish those parts... parts not good enough for so many, but it's all I've got so it has to be enough somehow.

[quote]..when I felt those kind of inner, dangerous, invisible tears flow like a river within. They don't reach the eye.. they just freeze in the heart.[/quote]
Wow!... "freeze in the heart" - that is exactly it! You are incredibly talented in being able to describe it so perfectly. I wish I could do that!

Thank you for sharing these thoughts here. I do hope you've been able "to get clear and forward" since you've written this.🌷

Busybee333 · 31-35, F

@StarLily Thank you,well I've figured you can't step forward without some pain. I guess we learn to tame our pains and sorrows with our own will. We walk with them until we understand them.. they usually fall behind. Scars remain as a reminder that we went through something and grew. Keep your heart open for the good and the great, be prepared for scars but don't fear them. That's how you build upon your development. If you take the time to notice, life is colorful, there is something of everything. We choose where to focus our energy and intent :) let's heal, grow and help each other by initiating positive changes. We can do this.

in10RjFox · M

You are already on your journey to find yourself .. but yeah! we get tired of enacting to please someone else, and lose our originality and later find our originality is what we are .. why make our life like being in movies having to put on an act .. and why live for others when there is actually no one to appreciate. And then we realise our true self.