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I Want All Truth And Nothing But The Truth

Relationships.

Humans are not naturally monogamous and we can tell by the fact we fantasize and get attracted to multiple people at the same time we form emotional bonds with.

Monogamy was invented to control:

1. Stds.
2. Unwanted pregnancy.
3. Raising the future generation in a “stable” environment to nurture and build pleasing, productive, and harmless individuals for the next generation.

Oxytocin, Dopamine, and Serotonin are the “feel good” chemicals released in our brain that are responsible for what we call “love”. Attraction could come about through being physically attracted or attracted through intellectual, ability, or how the person makes you feel when you are around them (emotional).

There is no “it factor” men are attracted to. There is no way to monitor what arouses man or woman because it is completely subjective and random, going by what media suggests is nothing but upholding a subjective standard for monetary gain.

We can’t handle our “loved” one to break monogamy vows because we are:
1. Insecure.
2. Jealous.
3. Possessive.
4. Concerned with resources or the convenience it entails to have your specific partner by your side.

If we were secure, confident in our unique beauty, and caring...

Wouldn’t we be more concerned about HOW a person treats someone than what they do with their privates, and their bodies?

I’d love to read your thoughts!

Thank you.

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Angeleyez · 51-55, F

I am secure with who I am both physically and emotionally I’m not nor ever been a jealous type person, and never been possessive nor am I’m concerned with resources that he has because I’m very independent and capable of providing for myself and family, however I will not share my S.O. With ANYONE nor would I ever share myself with ANYONE other then my S.O. Those that have open relationships I say go for what makes you happy, but find it a bit hypocritical of those that want to say there is something “wrong” with the image of myself or self worth because what makes me happy and what works for me is a completely monogamous relationship. What works for one may not be another’s cup of tea, but take care when you “judge” or speculate what is or isn’t appropriate for others. They just may stand in judgment of you, and the way you choose to live your life and attain your physical and emotional happiness.

Take care, God bless,
Angel

View 5 more replies »

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

I speak about human nature as a whole though, myself included. Even though I understand in my mind why I believe mankind is not naturally monogamous, I can also admit this happens to me at the thought of someone I’m attached to going with someone else.

You are right, I never even thought I was labeling anyone negatively, until you pointed this out. I suppose my only defense is I wouldn’t call someone a word I wouldn’t call myself. I believe as humans we are insecure, possessive, jealous, we look for what is convenient.

The truth of the matter is I feel objectified by a life where people, in relationships or job or even family, want me on conditions because it doesn’t feel genuine to me. The conditions we are wanted for is if we are pleasing, productive, and harmless and it just makes me feel used. By accepting someone not being monogamous then maybe I am being more accepting, less conditional? In a world where conditions are everywhere?

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@Specialyouare it’s true there are “conditions” in life that we are expected to follow, but I feel that as long as it’s not hurting anyone and you’re honest with self/and others we should live our lives in a manner in which feels right to us deep inside. In doing so we must accept others if we accept want them to accept us. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Angeleyez Thank you for you kind words 😊

Pherick · 41-45, M

I don't agree with the first part of this. Monogamy and marriage started around 1200-1300 CE and at that time, your 3 reasons were not concerns.

1. They didn't even know what STD's were.
2. Atleast for the majority of the population, no pregnancies were unwanted, more kids meant survival.
3.) Again for the majority of the population, day to day living was not guaranteed, "the next generation" wasn't being thought of much.

I also can't say I agree with your reasons for why breaking monogamy hurts. While most of us have some of those traits you mentioned in varying degrees, mostly its about a breaking of trust. We trust our partner to be true to us and when they are not, that is what causes the pain.

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@Pherick wholeheartedly agree. 👍🤗

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Pherick I believe in antiquity marriage had a lot to do with family and fortune. Society upheld fixed marriages where families would flourish in the different ways they could benefit in enhancing or administrating wealth, especially on the side of those well off financially. Why do you think people are so concerned with someone not being physically intimate with somebody else? Selfishness, insecurity, or fear of losing someone who helps you pay bills, and brings pleasure to your life?

bijouxbroussard · F

People are not a monolith either. And while some would rather not be monogamous, others of us [b]prefer[/b] that and have no problem with it. The challenge is for like-oriented people to find each other.

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@bijouxbroussard exactly

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