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I Want All Truth And Nothing But The Truth

Relationships.

Humans are not naturally monogamous and we can tell by the fact we fantasize and get attracted to multiple people at the same time we form emotional bonds with.

Monogamy was invented to control:

1. Stds.
2. Unwanted pregnancy.
3. Raising the future generation in a “stable” environment to nurture and build pleasing, productive, and harmless individuals for the next generation.

Oxytocin, Dopamine, and Serotonin are the “feel good” chemicals released in our brain that are responsible for what we call “love”. Attraction could come about through being physically attracted or attracted through intellectual, ability, or how the person makes you feel when you are around them (emotional).

There is no “it factor” men are attracted to. There is no way to monitor what arouses man or woman because it is completely subjective and random, going by what media suggests is nothing but upholding a subjective standard for monetary gain.

We can’t handle our “loved” one to break monogamy vows because we are:
1. Insecure.
2. Jealous.
3. Possessive.
4. Concerned with resources or the convenience it entails to have your specific partner by your side.

If we were secure, confident in our unique beauty, and caring...

Wouldn’t we be more concerned about HOW a person treats someone than what they do with their privates, and their bodies?

I’d love to read your thoughts!

Thank you.

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Angeleyez · 51-55, F

I am secure with who I am both physically and emotionally I’m not nor ever been a jealous type person, and never been possessive nor am I’m concerned with resources that he has because I’m very independent and capable of providing for myself and family, however I will not share my S.O. With ANYONE nor would I ever share myself with ANYONE other then my S.O. Those that have open relationships I say go for what makes you happy, but find it a bit hypocritical of those that want to say there is something “wrong” with the image of myself or self worth because what makes me happy and what works for me is a completely monogamous relationship. What works for one may not be another’s cup of tea, but take care when you “judge” or speculate what is or isn’t appropriate for others. They just may stand in judgment of you, and the way you choose to live your life and attain your physical and emotional happiness.

Take care, God bless,
Angel

Pherick · 41-45, M

@Angeleyez Pretty much this. I have never understood the need to say one side is wrong or bad, and the other is good. We are all different, and as long as you are upfront and honest about what you are and what you want, why would anyone have a problem with that?

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@Pherick Agreed, I always find it strange when some ppl want you to accept who and what they are and how they live their lives, but want to tell you that your way to live life happily is all kinds of wrong. 🤔

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Angeleyez Well very well said. Everyone IS different and everyone does have different preferences. I think that your side is respected by majority, my point in bringing awareness of the people that choose to not be monogamous is so that they or “we” are negatively labeled for doing so. Monogamy is not looked down upon by majority. Just because someone says humans are not naturally monogamous, doesn’t mean those who are truly monogamous and self-disciplined in their commitments and will power aren’t deserving of respect in doing something that isn’t instinctually natural. More props to you honestly. It is the non-monogamous side of people that I want to defend in a positive manner simply because of how harshly they are dealt with by most when I find that we are not monogamous creatures as nature, science, and observation show us.

I want women or men to feel beautiful and sexy not because someone is faithful to them but because they ARE independent of who is with them.

I want to empower people with inner love and security aside from the validation of others 😊

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Pherick I definitely don’t label anyone in my post as “good” or “bad”, so I know that is definitely not a concern in my writings 😊. If anything I want to do away with negative labels and uphold the respect of people in their differences despite bringing awareness to what is natural within our species.

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@Specialyouare i agree with this, but your original post is also painting those of us that do believe, and live a monogamous life as petty insecure creatures; only looking to keep our mate as a means to an end. If your wish is to live a non monogamous lifestyle then I wish you much happiness, but don’t judge those who do. if you want to defend those who live a non-monogamous lifestyle then I say I think you should, but there are a million ways to validate your stance without belittling and disparaging those that think differently than you. This is judging language and you’re presenting it a a Stone cold fact.
“We can’t handle our “loved” one to break monogamy vows because we are:
1. Insecure.
2. Jealous.
3. Possessive.
4. Concerned with resources or the convenience it entails to have your specific partner by your side.

If we were secure, confident in our unique beauty, and caring...”

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

I speak about human nature as a whole though, myself included. Even though I understand in my mind why I believe mankind is not naturally monogamous, I can also admit this happens to me at the thought of someone I’m attached to going with someone else.

You are right, I never even thought I was labeling anyone negatively, until you pointed this out. I suppose my only defense is I wouldn’t call someone a word I wouldn’t call myself. I believe as humans we are insecure, possessive, jealous, we look for what is convenient.

The truth of the matter is I feel objectified by a life where people, in relationships or job or even family, want me on conditions because it doesn’t feel genuine to me. The conditions we are wanted for is if we are pleasing, productive, and harmless and it just makes me feel used. By accepting someone not being monogamous then maybe I am being more accepting, less conditional? In a world where conditions are everywhere?

Angeleyez · 51-55, F

@Specialyouare it’s true there are “conditions” in life that we are expected to follow, but I feel that as long as it’s not hurting anyone and you’re honest with self/and others we should live our lives in a manner in which feels right to us deep inside. In doing so we must accept others if we accept want them to accept us. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Specialyouare · 31-35, F

@Angeleyez Thank you for you kind words 😊